you start off watching xxx content around 12 years old and it is the beginning of being deprived

straight stuff and it is the absolute worst because the male actors are purposely ramping each video up like it is on some grand timeline until you are basically at the murder section on the xxx website

then you're stuck to girl only or girl solo and that has some feeling when you get good at it but you still missing out on actually doing it even if everyone wants you to have the sex to have a kid

starts out xxx content

then it's weed content

then you're watching people have fun, wherever it is, doing whatever, like riding a sea doo or going on a vacation

then it's parents with their kids doing fun stuff like cheer

then it's watching random rizz videos where you'll basically never be doing any of that

so much deprivation

I would of never imagined this level of deprivation in my daily life

Like literally everything I want in life

I can just watch with the way my social media accounts are set up without even searching for anything

that is one thing weed completely turns off

sober it is basically all I can see unless i focus on what is going to happen in a few months or a couple years to make plans and that works

stoned I couldn't care less I just want to work and pump out solid content lol

feel like i make up every excuse in the book to not try a little harder with girls

can't meet a girl at cs and there's plenty of girls that would work to just have a kid not even really like each other but my parents want me to meet a girl to have a kid do you want to have a kid we don't even need to like love each other just simply have a kid

can't meet a girl at work that's unprofessional 

can't go out to meet a girl I don't have so much stuff I feel I need extra spending money a car nice shoes a spotless apartment

can't smoke weed

watch videos of people smoking weed all day to learn websites and strains

no daughter to do cheer with could never even afford to put a girl through cheer

watch it for hours a day just incase it does ever happen

Like one thing you definitely know each day is going to have: severe deprivation lol

and basically the number one goal over all out of everything is to become completely numb to the deprivation when you can actually watch it

like a trained monk

to the point you feel like you could watch straight xxx content but they last time you did they were literally skull fxcking and that's where it starts at every single time

brings me to a weird thing I have noticed that supports our reality being a simulation

back in the day when you would watch a solo cam girl she would literally be like the exorcist when it was time to cum shaking rocking moaning loudly all of it AND when I was like 12 or 13 the girls looked 12 or 13 too all the way until I was about 15 or 16 then clearly they were 18

where the entire time was moaning then when it was time to go it was like eyes rolling back in their head and back bending like they were being lifted by a spirit or ghost

now it's like nothing i'm watching girls my age and even when they do climax it's like whelp that made another 100 tips I can buy food, time to make another 500 tips so I can get gas

and the change from just starting out to making it to the skull fxcking in straight porn fastforward 15 years or so and it's literally nothing completely numb one climax every 15 mins to get 100 token tips

they damn near climax and get upset the build up didn't last longer to get more tips

when back then the build up could take 30 40 mins to reach a 3 4 min OVER THE TOP climax

and the simulation part is that you'll never find those videos again and the straight stuff starts right where it left off and the solo girls are basically done

weird divine xxx content timeline