just had the epiphany I'm all alone as in no one ever comes to my house no one ever spends the night for a few days or drives over every day to just be in company

I used to get that thought feeling idea a lot when I was younger 15-25

I always take it back to the womb or that I was a year younger than everyone else in school

I know people that always have their friends or people at their houses constantly

and to me it's like they are together and finding a way out together

I don't not like being alone but being alone so often occasionally makes me think why am I alone so much

is it because I'm not cool, interesting, a good person to be around

not a sob story but why do I not have people that want to get out together with me

why do I not have people that want to come over every day

is it because older people don't want to hang with younger people

is it because younger people don't want to hang with older people that are majority of the time alone

is the reason I don't have people that want to come over every day because I don't have people that have done that historically

like people that just get girlfriends frequently

what are they doing differently where they can break up and less than a week they find another girl

where people like myself have been single for 10 years

I don't use drugs I stay showed and clean I have plenty of money with everything paid I work I take care of business

of course some have a busy life and can't I understand that

you'd think I would find someone that would want to but nope

there's people at the hotel that have people come and go constantly all day and night

are they selling drugs or do people just gravitate to them

people walking in small groups to just go to the convenience store from the hotel

how do they enjoy each other company enough to even want to do that how did they meet was it 20 years ago in school and they just get along or are they both teaming up to fight their way out to get to a better place

I've had plenty of money beer weed lsd tons of food the latest console the nice pc the nice phone the clean clothes the nice shampoo and soap

still no one came over

I don't want to say i'm just not the type of person to make friends that come over daily or consistently at the least

but I don't lol

everyone I meet doesn't want to come over and watch tv or be glued to our phones

when I try to make a friend that would do that they ask me for money for gas or something like that

are people borrowing money then giving money away knowing they have nothing to have someone come over

when you get more money and work out of town do you get privilege to go to friends houses for days at a time when you are in town to drink and smoke

It's been something that comes up my entire life

I didn't pay attention until around 15 and it just happened a few mins ago reason I type this

I can think of every reason in the book for why people don't want to come over

and I can't think of a single way to make a friend that would want to come over

life long friends have kids and wife and no free time

jail friends just asking for money

family all have wife and working all day to start a family

again no problem with being alone for years at a time

but to pass the time quicker someone coming over to just be glued to our phones or watch tv or show each other videos

would be nice to speed up the time