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Friday, July 11, 2025

I hate/do not favor those videos upbeat consider good
I like to watch what is good when I smoke
I don't know if they are good if you don't smoke while you watch
Why would you not smoke while you watch

You can't smoke because supervision 
Why would you ever do anything to get on supervision if you smoke
Someone would waste all your money and you would run out too quickly to get through the month having to spend all the money on food and bills
How would they do that
Wasting time
It's a real power trip of being sober when you have honest reason
And finishing supervision pretty much completely ends a 30 year one sided relationship 
Can you imagine having a complete bully in your life that has got so far in bullying they can rely on a false image of actually caring which is just a deep version of bullying 
And that goes on for 15+ years
While everyone knows he just doesn't like you and they all just don't care enough to change anything and agree with his false image that he may honestly care and want the best while literally tearing the entire family apart
And it's not like you need to live with the suffering and "torture" for 10 15 or 20+ years anymore 
The relationship literally completely to severs and you never see the person that caused so much grief in your life ever again

Because that's what I'm power tripping high sober on

Anyways you are not his first
He's had several people in his life that started a relationship where they slowly but very immediately stopped letting him asking for things and demanded things to be done
Some that eventually gave up and started doing everything little thing he asked
Some that they split up
And some that he had to fight mentally or physically 

I gave him too much shit he couldn't handle it no way
He did handle it
He thought I was a judge
You judge every little thing you see or hear
You are a judge
I know
You did it for too long
I know

Above is a typical conversation that plays out

This
This and this
That
No
That
Yes I know
That format of conversation gets so overplayed it's the format of the conversation alone that literally sets you off the rails

It's almost as bad as

Is that something something
Yes
Oh I knew that

It's cute if it's your grandchild but goddamn any other scenario makes me lose my f'ing marbles instantly 

Is that something something 
Yes
No it isnt
Yes it is
Oh I knew that

To the point you can't even get mad and you just have to think the person is retarded

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