Attempting to not be a complete hater about not smoking

The weirdest thing about heavy smoking for 10+ years then going like 4 years without smoking

Is knowing you don’t need to smoke

Like in the last 10 years no matter what happened good or bad I needed to smoke to make it better

Now that just doesn’t come up and I just don’t smoke

I don’t feel stronger or better in any way but I know I can do my time without smoking

But I have vivid lucid dreams of smoking and I keep bud in my house so middream out of no where I’ll be hitting a bowl then I get completely overwhelmed thinking I just hit a bowl sleep walking I’m dead asleep and now I’m going to get revoked again and probably go to prison

Then my alarm goes off and I’m like well shit

Like in no way at all period do I feel better in any explanation of the word better

It’s actually a lot worse

Like anything to do with work is hard and I know I could work 10 times harder and longer and it feel good and be fun and I’m just waiting to not complain about my feet or any part of my body I hurt while working I can’t wait to be like a well oiled machine working until I hit a wall taking a hit then working like I hadn’t even started yet 

Don’t let people lie to you and trick you into stopping smoking if you don’t have to for me there was literally no benefit

And I think it’s so weird you can smoke every day of your life then get in trouble and not be able to smoke then get out of trouble and you can just go back to smoking and drinking lol

Straight up like not being able to go to recess lol having to eat lunch with the principle and do homework instead of getting to play outside

It’s like they know smoking and drinking is the BEST thing we got and they take it away as punishment like they’re saying you're just not supposed to enjoy the time on supervision lol 

Out of all the things in the world they just somehow take weed and beer away lol god

When I did smoke on probation my first time

It felt like the officer was a mother duck with her grown ass mallards she dressed up as ducklings following her and when you just got slightly high you were free from having her above you or walking in front of you

I’m like how close to my asshole do you need to be to consider yourself my supervision lol you mean to tell me I cannot get high because you somehow don’t feel like you are superior to me if I do smoke weed so you don’t feel in control

It completely feels like breaking the matrix

My own mother and grandmother never did that to me

It’s like she was my mom in a duck family 

I know when I can finally get high again I’m going to be flying through so many people that have made their selves superior to me

I’m going to hear so many stories of people and what they thought about me

Then finally after like a year straight of getting high itll finally be silence and focus when I do get high

I’ve used anti marijuana and prison time to feel high and I know what it feels like to profit off of those things

When I finally overturn all the people that moved their seat because of my absence I know they are going to have a shitty day lol

To be held back then for me to miss days then for me to be able to get my spot back

It should be illegal to pass people like that to let them move their seats higher

Because you know most are going right back where they were and they’re living a life they’ll never get back without doing the same thing to someone else 

Salmon swims upstream 

Weed was illegal for so long

You would think salmon ran the free world

Weed smokers got punished for nullifying all the work the salmon people did to get upstream

Now it shouldn’t be illegal to smoke and move up it should be illegal to stop smokers from moving up

Because when they do it sends the salmon people to hell if they’re not used to actually working and they can’t just go upstream 

They do actually have to work and that disruption not just the uncomfortable part but allowing them to get disrupted by forcing someone to not smoke so they can eventually smoke

Ran by salmon people that just went upstream Weed

Smokers disrupt them because they basically teleport higher

So make smoking illegal for the salmon people

But now smoking is legal

So everyone finds their spot

Then take smoking away

And the salmon people get too far upstream it’s heaven again

Then the smokers eventually teleport and it’s hell for the salmon people

Until the smokers level out at their spot

But it isn’t the weed smokers fault for wanting to get home

And it’s hard to blame the salmon people for constantly going upstream until they get as far as they can go

But if making a weed smoker stop smoking sends the salmon people to hell for a little bit

That’s pretty messed up from the government to allow that

I don’t even feel like a victim from my punishment 

But a know a lot of people are going to hate their life because I had to stop they went deeper and then I start up and it all plays out 

You kinda gotta feel sorry for those people though

They’re just doing what they were born to do

And when they’re living their best life completely out of the blue

They’re going to get told they are a complete failure and a superiority figure is going to force them to do something else when they were doing better than ever longer than ever