15$ fell out of my pocket today

don't get paid until next week

all I had was 20$

I have probation to pay for

I wanted to be ahead

I feel so upset

and I know it's only 15$ and it could of been 50$ or 100$

but it's like 20$ is all I had and that was going to let me make it easy until payday

now i'm going to have to struggle a little bit

I've literally never been so upset about 15$ in my entire life

I literally feel beat because of it

because that 15$ is like 6 steaks or 3 packs of smokes or soda for several days

and I could of paid some to probation today

but instead I went to the store and bought noodles and drinks and it fell out of my pocket

now instead of having 20$ paid off on probation

I have 5$

it suuuuucccckkkkkkssssss

I'm not losing money anymore

it's all going towards probation from now until i'm done

I hate this feeling

like I had money and it could of went towards my cause

but now I have nothing

I'm not upset enough to go outside and look for it

because it's 6:25pm really hot outside and someone has probably already picked it up

and it is just money and it can be replaced

but damn this is terrible lol

when I found out it was missing it completely stopped me from wanting to work on my code

now I just want to stare at the wall and be like damn

15$

that's like nothing

but it came at such a bad time

i'll get snap paycheck and ssi next week

so I just have to survive for about 7 more days

i'll make it 

just hurts so bad lol

I've been at spots in my life where I could spend 200$ on stripchat tokens and give big tips

I've spent so much on beer and weed and still had money

i'll be alright

this loss of 15$ has devastated me financially

I don't ever want to feel like this again

if I would of spent the 20$ on probation and just had zero and not lost it 

gaahh

*lights cigerette* *drinks soda I bought today*

at least I have a lot of food I can make at home