My brother was good to me

My brother and I didn't see each other much just here and there while I was growing up

When I turned 21 we spent about 3 years seeing each other every single day

I know he got tired of me

I'm going to get the bad out of the way first

He could say I was wrong or what I was doing didn't fit in then he would have the biggest smile and laugh like it's the best laugh he ever had and I would have a smile but he more angry than I thought I ever got before

And I had no reason to be mad he was just offering advice 

Then it was all about me being mad

I always felt like when something good was happening he was having all the fun and I was missing out from knowing him

But that's all about that that's what he did

We had such good times together

We both taught each other

You know you make plans and they don't always work out

He was so welcoming when I was around him not just to me to everyone 

And he probably has more friends than anyone I know

I can't believe my brother touched so many people

They all showed up

I remember the first time I went to the pool hall

I remember when he finally got tired of me and started just giving me jobs to do around the pool hall

Waiting for your brother to show up being home alone and just being so bored

I had just moved to the east side of town

Everything stopped when he wasn't around

And he had girls and he had kids and It still stopped when he wasn't around

And it's not like I wanted to just have all the time in the world to wait

But when he finally did show up and it was like he was always there

Then we would have our little pool hall time

Man that all made me grow up

Made me see in such a different prospective 

I got nothing

I realized all the time I spent growing up was playing videos games

And we didnt even play video games the same way

He was all PlayStation 

I was all Xbox

I felt like I had been cheated by not being the older brother and getting those golden experiences 

But he's always make it better somehow

I remember the very last time I talked to him

I knew he was sick and everyone could see it

But I don't think it's bad

You know they say the good go young

I miss my brother

Not for the bad that I saw so often of course

But for the food that always happened after the bad

I know my brother had a lot of friends and family 

But I don't think they got to know him quite like I did his baby brother

I felt I held my own when we would go out

And it was like being in a movie

When we would go somewhere everyone would stop and look about 15 plus people would shake his hand and he would Introduce me to about 5 people even if we went to a fast food place a bar was all night long

I learned what I have is plenty and I dont need to change anything and some people do get lucky

But there's always room for improvement 

My brother was good

Besides him treating me like his real baby brother

And welcoming me into his close family

He never did anything wrong to me

He loved me he told me

I loved him

I and everyone else knows he went to a better place

I'll miss my brother I'm just glad he's not still going through the pain he was going through

Thank you

It's been over a year and I've never posted once

Feels good to say what I wanted to say on that day