Well in reality 

The only thing I'm not able to do is smoke weed

And I can grow because of that getting past my regular daily problems

But not using my normal solution 

They say they can never take away cigarettes 

And I first I was very confused 

But now I'm forced to be happy and greatful

I can get past all the problems with cigarettes 

And they said to my face they can't take away cigarettes 

Obviously that made me question why they can't take that away but they can take this away

And clearly the only explanation a skitzo can find is one is giving you life and one is killing you

And they just want the state and nation to die so they don't have to work and we all go to heaven eating pancakes at the Denny's lol

As far as getting my freedom back

I'm still completely free I just don't get to smoke weed lol

It's an opportunity to grow stronger by not always going to the weed when things get difficult 

Not drinking beer is as easy as:

I don't drink medicinally I do it to pass down time to have a little fun during the mundane times of the day

It's not hard to stop

Another big thing is all this slows you down on having a kid

I don't want kids

I don't care about having sex

I really don't want an 18+ year responsibility 

Where I have to stay ahead of the kid for my safety

While helping and guiding the kid like I would expect my parents what I expected 

Not what I got

It just does not sound fun or correct or something good to do at all

In my 10 years of drinking

I've never drank with other people at a bar or party

Maybe drinking with 1 other person at their apartment 

But never at a party or bar

I always drink alone at those places 

I think you still have to be a kid in the womb to get that to work

The number one question has been

Does the court take in to consideration what all was happening before the incident 

Or do they just care about this is the charge did you do it yes guilty no then we look

Because it would be an easy dismissal if looked and we've backed up all the data so that won't be corrupted 

It's never going to change

But if they don't look at that

Like him being drunk him starting the lecture

Him impeding work to work for him

And all the other things that were going on