an in-depth update

it's been over a year in my own apartment with my girls cali and salem

I don't feel like i've done much as most of my work requires me to smoke marijuana and I have no been able to do that much due to probation and the wait to get back on probation

the biggest change is actually having silence in my living space

i'm still not used to it

it's something special to not hear foul language or bodily noises

I don't care much about my youtube website ffxi or insta

but I try to keep them tidy and have some value

honestly the only thing I care much about at all is food and having enough food to not feel hungry

my work is good it's four nights a week and I do enjoy it. security for a hotel. usually i'm just parked in my work vehicle watching traffic which means most of the night i'm drinking coffee smoking cigs and on my phone usually insta and pinterest

i've switched from smoking weed to smoking cigarettes and i'm surprised how much I actually like it even though it's so much worse for me and I get cancer scares about twice a day

in ffxi I mostly just play for fun I have time to do rigorous testing to find the best but I don't want to spend my time doing that I mostly use it to chat with my ls and I enjoy that but as far as actually playing I really don't much

I don't play any other games besides ffxi

my youtube is basically just a place to back up videos and store videos for myself

I'm worried about going to prison but everyone tells me to think positive and not go there

I sleep A LOT more and it feels so good

I still drink beer from time to time but i've changed what I drink mostly drinking highlife and bud ice now

instead of budlight and landshark

I also still drink old no 7 my favorite thing to drink

I still cook ribs and I'm planning on getting a brisket

money is okay but sometimes I spend too much and have a hard time right before I get paid but i'm just getting used to living on my own

I miss my grandma more than anything having someone to talk to and having someone to help with buying food

my mom helps but she has it about as bad as I do on the money part

I don't see it getting better any time soon but I do feel confident I can make it like this

sorry if I jump around and it's hard to read this post i'm on my couch under the covers just venting

my cats take care of me as much as I take care of them cali always tells me when they need more food

and salem is so easy to love she lets me pick her up cuddle her love her the way I want to she's so funny

I eat a lot of hotdogs really it's the only thing I can afford 1.30$ for 8 hotdogs and that can last an entire day I know that isn't good for me either but it's where I am at

I'm glad I got away glad to live on my own glad to get to sleep finally no more jobs and forever changes

all I want to do is play beastmaster

I don't want to do anything in game though ep mlvls i'm just going to pay for I don't want to go the I want to play so bad but can only get a pt once a week route to mlvl 50 sounds like torture

everything is done besides smoking marijuana and having fun

all the hard things to do i've finished

not much more for me to talk about

I could go more indepth about everything

no point