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Friday, July 18, 2025

finally made it back home
waking up at 6:30am and not getting home until 7:45pm is killing me lol
I feel like sleeping in late tomorrow
just 5 days left of cs
like 5 days of am
I have like $700 ready to spend on court costs with 900 to go so only like 200 left

I'm working so hard up at work the other maintenance man quit and i'm trying to do it all myself I get a lot more hours and I make a lot more money which is great but man my feet start killing me I start limping it is terrible i've always had pretty bad feet but gah and what I need to get done is crazy there's so much to mow and from when I started to now the first stuff I mowed already needs to be mowed again and i'm not even half way done mowing everything
I'm going to try to get the main stuff done and keep it mowed stay on top of it you know then keep going at the other stuff
it is bad lol when you have a fence on a curb or a rail next to a fence and there's like no way to fit a lawn mower or there's a house connected to the hotel and the yard is giant and all overgrown
I definitely have like 20+ hours of work just for one mow of the entire thing
doesn't help it's like 95 degrees outside all day
tomorrow i'm going to start remowing where I started and I want to mow like 3 or 4 days out of the week to keep everything down

I've always loved the rain but now I hate the idea of it since I have to work so hard after the rain

ofc I love logan like she's my only girlfriend
I also love salem like she is my girlfriend

every day I'm getting closer to post cs am court costs
a little over 2 weeks and I'm post cs am court costs
going to be so nice
I wanted to save up a lot before I paid off court but I think I'm just going to do it asap
I'll always make that money again

going to be soooooooooooo sooooooooooooooo nice to get all three things done
then I'll have like 18 months of just visits so simple and easy
as long as I don't smoke which obviously I do not plan on doing that
I'm going to finish this thing and be smoking all day every day
instead of cig breaks at work i'll be hitting my dab pen lol

I really cannot wait to do stuff like mowing and trash while i'm high as f
then money will be REAL good 
I've been working so long without getting high I can't imagine making money from work and actually enjoying the job

5 days cs
6 days am
900 to court costs and i'll have 700 at the end of the month

so freaking ready to get all that knocked out
going to be so stupid easy when I finish all of those 3 requirements

first I had planned on buying weed first of all
then I wanted to wait on the weed because it'll get dry and old if I buy it now and have to wait 18 months
then I wanted to pay court costs asap and buy weed in the last few months of supervision
now I don't even know if the thca that is for sale right now will still be for sale by then since so many crazy new legal things happening that could ban it
it is terrible I can't plan ahead because it is legal now but it may not be legal by the end of the month or in a few months
like if they put a ban on thca and make it need to be under .3% if they require .3% for all plant thc values
it is so stupid
I think I'm going to wait until this next big special legislative session on july 21 and see what the damage is
maybe if it isn't too bad i'll buy it then and just deal with the weed degrading because I don't think it is going to be legal for much longer as much as i want it to be legal when I get done
it seems like everyone is fighting to take it away

Girls I use as my lock screen and home screen 
So pretty 
The girls on royalty really all do their hair like that it's so fun to watch the performances 
I miss Logan 
Today at community service we went to the college hills and I could hear Logan talk to me in my inner conversation 

Btw if you tell your doctors and nurses you hear voices they want updates on if you hear the voices still each visit 
But if one day you change voices to inner conversation it literally means the exact same thing but one is "bad" and the other is completely normal 

Wednesday, July 16, 2025

Cool my video got used. My ls was one of the first to kill using the perfect defense strategy, I uploaded the video, it was taken down shortly after upload. I cannot confirm nor deny av had a much deeper meaning behind it. I'll say when we did kill it using the pd method it felt almost illegal and I had to take the video down. Today it is nothing like this little bit was removed from the game. Back then it actually felt how I imagine committing a murder by hand would feel. It took a lot, a whole lot to kill it, and it fought back like it truly was alive. living being, person, or very complicated code but once it was done and everyone was cheering louder than they ever had before I just couldn't help but feel like something was wrong about the entire situation. Something very spooky and when you are fighting a boss that hasn't been beaten in several years after release and it was a mmo where people are spending thousands of hours and everyone in your group has literally perfect gear it honestly was a very eerie video and experience for me. living being, person, code whatever it actually felt like brutally unlifeing something which I felt could cause repercussions just from having on my channel. long comment from someone that got an early av kill recorded it and posted it for a few days.

what is being said is that
the drk zergs couldn't actually feel it. the fight ended so quickly they couldn't get the feeling
we knew what we were doing
we actually could feel what we were doing breaking fingers suffocating gouging ripping cutting all of it
we actually felt that
and how sometimes someone can say that's so f'ed up and maybe only that one person sees it
at the very base level it is a video game and we all know that we can all agree
but it is a japanese mmo with hundreds of thousands of players many with thousands of hours logged and no one could beat it and we did beat it whatever that could mean we knew what we were doing we felt it
that the little piece of code that makes it actually feel like killing an innocent man in a video game for no reason other than to get some rare loot or do it
which some knew others didn't
but we did it and we all cheered at the defeat
that the uploader of the video knew unspoken someone from the ls would download and that is how we got the video out but also knowing if a murder was uploaded to youtube they could recover that so we could recover our video using the same process if we wanted
that someone is speaking but they are 100% silent
they were not late to the event and ended up being the one killed
they were always there on time they always preformed
but the kill alone was enough to make them leave the server for several months

that it was 85 cap and everyone had perfect gear
that it was a weird time BEFORE they removed that thing whatever it was even after lvl increase
yes
and they removed it soon after your kill maybe even instantly
yes
that others had kills before and they got that same feeling and some actually felt it going back to try to feel it again
yes
that it was a completely territorial thing in the ls afterwards where anyone could be the target to get ganged on and killed
yes

the player took a break then came back to an adl kill where he "cheated" the lot system and won a sagasinger on his first adl lotting 998 by using a /random trick to force a high lot that was somehow figured out
100% yes
you use /random until you get a 400-600 then if you /random higher than 800 after you /random until you get 400-600 again then you want to get 2 or 3 randoms under 250 which usually forces your lot to be 900+ and 950+ is very common. the ls talked about outlawing the technique because it was found from an even deeper thing it was thought you had to be japanese to learn the trick and north americans were using it in front of everyone so it caught on
they can credit that trick being why no content since adl actually uses a lot system delve, reives, omen bodies too low drop rate to even count really, sortie, neo-limbus if you notice there hasn't been any new hnms there hasn't been any hnm gear to lot since adl
they think se noticed what they were doing and just removed lotting for top tier gear all together since it was found out or broken or whatever you want to call it 
wow
tested the sagasinger really quick then left the server to go show how strong he was while getting complete hate from the ls for getting the first saga and leaving while most knew he was server swapping to do pvp to show how strong he and his ls was the leaders still did not like it with him even being sort of a leader just not an actual ls leader
yes 100%
and now they are all back in the same ls and still do events occasionally
yes we are still active
so how did he do in the pvp
won just about every competition he got in met some over the top players that taught him to be even stronger we're talking about the most elite players on any server that play ff11
you'll notice when something gets found out or broken and se recognizes it they almost never actually use that system ever again which is partly why the game is how it is today in 2025
claiming, claim bots no more claim competition or hnms
lotting, fixing lots no more lotting
speed hacking, tele crystals
AoE burns, locus for the most part immune to AoE
and when you fix everything that ever got recognized
you get the game we have today in 2025

just about no one who played back then actually still likes it today
if you still like it at all it's probably because you have deep connections to a job or jobs maybe a craft and feel no other game can compare
even without everything we considered fun for so many years

just amazes me how one single master level is more exp than every job to 75 on horizon at about the same exp/kill rate lol
knowing that and knowing how easy it should be to get all 75s then looking at the endgame content and not liking how the fights play out then just quitting horizon as soon as you realize that
at that point, honestly, what's the point
then you get back to retail and personally I haven't liked any of the content since delve that's 2013 lol
besides love for a job and craft
why would I sub to a game that hasn't had an update I actually like since 2011 neodynamis and voidwatch is 2011 delve is 2013
that is literally FOURTEEN YEARS 14 YEARS without a content update I actually want to play
I would be the most insane dude on insanity street to think ff11 is ever going to release an update I want to play if they haven't managed to do it in 14 years