just got out of am class

I find the class pretty fun

it's really fast and the stories the instructor tells are pretty entertaining

no am next week so just another week added until we finally finish

got cs bright and early in the morning

got to be up around 6:30am

for tonight I have to mop

mom told me to think about putting cali to sleep

everyone has known cali since I got her

it's so hard for me to think about putting her to sleep

she's the kitten on my program icons

she was my ffxiah avatar for a long time

unfortunately she's peeing about every 5-10 mins everywhere

on the cabinets on the door screen on the tv any spot on the walls

she's 12 years old

the worst part is she seems really healthy

she just won't pee in the box she poops in the box but she pees everywhere and it's like multiple times an hour now she just started that a few days ago

I know she could live for several more years

but my mom told me to seriously think about it

Salem is perfect she does both in the box

cali attacks salem

basically cali makes everything harder and she doesn't even care to love I can pet her for about 30 seconds before she gets tired and starts trying to bite

Salem checks on me she hugs me she kisses me she eats her food uses her box

it would be so much easier with just salem

but I really do love cali too

I never really talk about it

but when my last girlfriend and I broke up in 2013(12 years since i've had a gf x.x)

I knew I would have zero chance at finding a new gf and I knew I wanted to get a cat

I found cali and she was perfect to fill that void

cali got spoiled

because I was her owner and I fed and changed her box

but the old man lived on the couch

and cali didn't like going in my room I usually kept my door closed anyways but she hated going in my room

so she didn't know who her owner really was

she would lay on the couch with the old man

and there was a clean sign when she kinda didn't know who her owner was

then she just started peeing on the wall instead of her box

and when we got to the apartment she just kept doing it

I know she could live several more years

I told that to my mom and she said she doesn't want her to suffer if she is peeing every 5-10 mins

I think about if she got out and was tortured or ran over

and her thinking about my grandma and I in her final hours

how much that would upset me

you know some people are bad to animals for no reason

when I think like that she is like my little baby kitten

and I do think putting her to sleep is a good idea

but I know she has a few more years in here

she's 12 and she's getting to that stage but not now

I just have to stay right behind her and clean all her little accidents

I'm going to miss cali even if she is bad lol

she's actually a little better at getting petted and patted on

but she can't stand it

I quit picking her up for years

but I just started picking her up again in the past week

she hates it so much lol

she lets me pick her up and love her for like 1 kiss then she's scratching and crawling to get away

Salem can be held and kissed all day she loves it lol

just something I have to think about

I don't want her to suffer and she really doesn't seem happy

I'm going to miss my cali girl

good thing I have my girlfriend salem I love both of them

Definitely not subbing to 11 this month

Lost the drive to code and I don't plan on playing 11

I think when I get off supervision and I can do all my stuff again

I'll probably start playing again

That's still in two years though

I'm happy I got the API.dll to work very very happy

But I'm just not feeling it writing code for the game

It was a fun learning experience 

I've really disliked the game for almost 10 years

I love the jobs and actually playing 

But I haven't liked any of the new content in so long

I personally like hnms and crafting

And since delve it's about as far away from hnm you can get

And I lost interest in horizon too

I got all jobs lvl 12+ but again I don't like the endgame much in horizon so I dont want to waste time just to get to content I don't like

Pretty crazy it's almost to the point I don't even feel like a gamer anymore 

Ive almost completely grown out of it

mom surprised me and came over with mcdonalds

we went up to the hotel to eat it

she had an attitude

and it's like she's in the biggest rush ever and everything gets on her nerves

and the worst part is anything you say is wrong

and she wants to argue

but because she gets like this so often

everyone well my sister and I know not to argue but just state our points calmly and sweetly to her

like I told my brother he could have my dvds

and I texted her right after that I told him that

she text me back that she would take them to her house

but my phone died on the charger and won't charge

so she got upset he already came to get them and how much money it was to buy them all

then she was upset because I said the manger told me I could work more hours and I want to work 5 hours a day

she said that's going to mess up my ssi

I told her that's not what the lady at the ssa office said

and she said oh yeah you work 2 days

then she said I can't sit doing nothing I have to show

she said she's told me since day one I have to be seen doing stuff

I told her my job was simple trash and pool

I just got new jobs the last day I was up there

picking up butts and washing the doors

she said no one is going to pick up butts for 5 hours

I said trash 1 hour pool 1 hour trash in parking lot 1 hour picking up butts 1 hour

then we left the hotel

she said they found an error that was in the drop

I told her she already told me

she said she just found out yesterday

I said I think it was yesterday that she told me

then my sister said that she thought it was her mistake

and she made a giant speech about getting it right and she never said it was my sister that it was the manager

it's like she's so angry and she's in such a rush it comes off as so selfish

and literally everything no matter what upsets her and she wants to argue

we had two drinks in the cup holder

she said the other one was mine

which you would think the other drink besides the one I grabbed

but the other tab was marked on the drink

obviously I have to think on several timelines to get this to work out mentally

so I say I got the other 

then she tastes the second drink and tells me that one is mine

I said mine was coke

then she gets upset

and then she complains about how the house is so hot even with the ac is on that when she sleeps it feels like shes in a coma

then I said I still want a lot of stuff from the house brought to my apartment

and she starts an argument by saying if you don't have room for dvds theres no way you have room for that stuff because dvds are small

i'm like wtf like for someone that demands no arguments and is in a mad rush and wants to argue about everything

it's like she doesn't want to argue

but she wants to make a snarky comments and win then we just love her and say yes mommy dearest you are right even though she's not majority of the time lol

and I feel bad for exposing that and making her out to be bad for that because she did bring me food

but it really lets me know in 30 mins why I had to get out of that house

and she does it as like a daily event

I find it SO DAMN SELFISH

she's always beating on people for being selfish even if it's stuff like getting their hours cut back and losing the apartment they just got(other people at the hotel)

then she goes and does all this which I find SO MUCH MORE SELFISH

that she can just go blind mad rush and everything is wrong and she starts an argument with every single conversation but good god almight you can't argue with her or she hisses sighs and pouts then she takes it out on you

something like well you don't need to do that now then she gets it stuck and that's all we hear about for months

like I want to say lose the attitude get out of the rush stop arguing trying to think in twisted ways to start a 1 sided argument 

just enjoy that we're together and have food

but goddamn that would be the end of the world

my sister was having an issue with the printer at the hotel

as soon as I got inside I went over to help her she said she didn't want me standing behind her BEFORE I EVEN STARTED HELPING

so I went to eat

I finished eating then was walking outside to smoke a cig

my mom stopped me as I got to the door

and said which I had so much "are you not going to help her"

well I was going to smoke this cig i'll help her

so then mom runs out the door and goes to the truck

I try to help my sister can't find the ink so I tell her to get the next person to fix it because her shift ends in like 3 mins

I go outside to smoke my cig get like 3 puffs off it

and my mom is yelling at me from the truck to put it out and get in the truck

it's so goddamn taxing on the mind body soul and spirit to have to deal with a person like that even if it's only for 20 mins

why can't she just drop it and enjoy the time away from the hot house instead of being in a mad rush to get back

as a kid growing up with her

this is the type of stuff I wanted a fulltime mic on me and a body cam

so she could watch it back and see how she was behaving

So as of now

I owe 950 to court & 1,200 to supervision

The thing about supervision is you can only pay per month what you signed up to pay

For me it's 61$ a month

Some officers allows you to pay a month or two in advance but that's a touchy subject honestly 

Well my general manager at work told me I could work more hours

Picking up trash longer, picking up cigarette butts, cleaning the pool, pressure washing the building, cleaning AC units and I'm sure he'll have more jobs I can do

I did the math after rent cellphone and Internet. I get 200 from my SSI

I make $10 an hour at my job

If I go in an hour early and stay a few hours later than I usually do

I can easily pull 5 hours a day

That's 20 hours a paycheck or $200 a paycheck 

I get two paychecks a month so

200+200+200 $600 a month to spend on court and supervision 

If I can steady keep working that time, 5 hours a day

I can have court paid in 2 months

Then on the third month I'll pay $61 for supervision 

And be sitting at $720

Then I pay the $61 for that month

And I'm at $660 

Then just one more month month #4 I'll be at $1,260 where I have to pay the 60 again

And now I'm at $1,200

Which would completely pay my supervision but you can't pay it off you have to pay month by month

So I could take that $1,200 and start buying the pounds of thca in only 4 months

If I can steady work 5 hour days

In 4 months, November 

I'll have court paid off

I'll have supervision down to like 1,000

I'll be sitting on 1,200

But remember I can only pay 60 a month to supervision 

So instantly in November I can start buying my new equipment and the glorious pounds

There's no way I can say no

I can't deny it

Past psyched passed thrilled past geeked

It's so real I'm so ready

It's like the coolest thing literally ever

I just have to find a way to put in those 5 hour long days

If I can keep that up

I can have everything paid off in 4 months

And I was starting to think it would take longer than the 6-7 months I had planned around 9-10 months

But I don't want to stretch it out that long

I want to do my little job work right at 5 hours a day 

Get my $600

Pay court quick

Pay as much supervision as I can

Then start buying my new stuff asap

I want all my new stuff

Then I want to start buying clothes shoes

And I want to set up a smoking corner in my apartment where I can take clean dabs and bowls for the camera to post here or YouTube 

I have work tomorrow and I'm planning on going in at 9am when it's still cool then staying until 2pm at least 

Open gate for trash 

Dump all the bins 30 mins

Pick up trash in parking lot 1 hour

Do all I can for the swimming pool 1 hour

Pick up cigarette butts 2 hours

Take a few breaks while I'm doing it so I'm not drenched in sweat 

But solidly making it a point to work minimum 5 hours a day so I can pull those $200 checks

Make that $600 a month for a few months

Just like 4 and I'm now ahead than I could ever imagine 

I'm about to drink some coffee I started putting butter in my coffee 

It gets me so right lol

I love it it's like it wakes me up but it calms me down I don't get jittery and I van just enjoy YouTube

I'm going to watch more thca pound reviews 

I've got two websites I know I want to order from

if you have a crescent or m on your palm

michael or to spill the blood of michael

to sin when everyone else has passed without sinning

or died a sinner went to hell and worked as a laborer outside of the eyes of those that lived in the human reality

and you purposely choose at the very end to stay longer and learn knowledge that would of never been learnt that would never be a thing since we would all be in the next existence that so many had already gone to

flipping and intertwining like a advanced figure eight to be right in line again not at the very back with everyone deciding the moves for us at the very front because the decision to stay back and learn what was not ever meant to be

kill or be killed

you are killed and you wake up in a building inside a building inside a building where everything is governed by entities that created the entire existence

you kill to not be killed and get to live on earth for several thousand years slowly learning how every single scenario can pan out learning how everything relevant works

eventually both playing out simultaneously on the same timeline with the ones that killed light years ahead of those that were killed

it could of never been possible without the literal tons of responsibilities placed on those that did kill to not want or need but absolutely have to be better 

we(they) treat him like that because everyone knows who he is now, we have the internet podcasts youtube even the radio

everyone knows he is an angel

and he did what he did for a good reason

and that he really did a lot of damage to the other person

but they didn't know that at the time of the conflict

they could easily lost the conflict or the other side could of easily faked the loss to come back later

either way

it was like a nuclear weapon going off on a civilization still making grunts for language still beating the woman with a club to call them their wife

the attack was so damaging to the other side everyone knew from that point forward they were the main character in the entire play

overthrowing john as the supreme leader and moving out to start their own life as an individual not just a soldier following a supreme leader

with david still in the light and michael and john completely removed

we have a very interesting future ahead of us

john 100% showing signs of the antichrist and michael completely trapped in the reality of living a human life

it's no surprise the last two years without john have been exceptional

and everything is gearing up for a complete recovery in less than one year

with signs of the best of times over the 30 years right around the corner

with bm showing back up in the story asking for nothing more than to be a grandfather again

2025 and the plant is free again

the gateway 100% open again

only thing in the way is a process of the state to restore freedom from the conflict

which at this point almost everyone can agree was 100% necessary

GOD does make mistakes GOD is perfect GOD can do everything and is everything

this was and still is a perfect plan

abundance is at an all time high

fees could be paid off in as little as 4 months

with over a year of saving

this level abundance to afford so many spoils has never been experienced before

it is clearly a sign from GOD the hard times being right at the end

right before the record high abundance kicks in

when we will have more of what we want than we have ever had

not double not triple but easily 20 times higher than ever experienced

did we need to do all this time to really experienced that level of abundance and freedom

it doesn't matter

I do not believe we would have the opportunities we have now

without this drastic change we have experienced

6/29/2025 and it is looking like by 6/29/2026 we will be better off than we have ever been before by an unmeasurable amount by 6/29/2027 we will be able to embrace our new life something so rich it has never been experienced before and this should last for several decades with no breaks or stops no hard times

what we have ahead of us is so exciting it's a thrill it's a reason to get geeked it is the biggest and greatest change our reality has ever had for us since birth

what god is telling us is to pay all our fees and save ahead of time for what we will need to pay set that to the side pay as time goes on

then have another pot to save and spend freely on anything we want and the numbers we see are so high

and the prices of what we need is so low

there's no way it could be anything other

than the greatest time to be alive in our entire history

every struggle every roadblock every weight has been removed and we are directly headed towards success with no resistance

it is two years away before we reach it but we will start gaining in just a few months

feeling the grown and strength from our new wealth

by the time we have officially made it

what we can accomplish cannot even be seen at this point

it can be theorized but cannot be seen

what is known is that all will undergo complete renovations and an increased level of creativity never seen before

it truly is a time to be alive

Went to see my brrrthrrrr 

He passed away 7 months ago

He had more flowers than any other of the headstones

I knew him my entire life but we didn't get close until I turned 21

From 2014-2016 we were in separable

I went to his house every single day

We smoked all day every day

And we could drink 3 or 4 30 packs a day easy

He got very sick and skinny his last year with us

And everyone could tell he was struggling with pain

He passed from sorosis of the liver

First time I ever seen someone fight so hard in the last few days

Besides my grandma

Everything looks like they're going to pass all their levels and everything 

Then they start throwing a fit and jumping up and down on the bed

Then the doctors have to calm them down

Eventually they quit fighting and go

But I'm almost positive it's all the fentanyl they give them lol

Glad he isn't struggling anymore

Both of them meant so much to me

Both of them were my biggest supporters 

And now both of them are up in heaven 

My grandma did so much for me

I had it so easy with her around

Then she was gone but she made me so strong

Everything is easy now

Got away from my grandpa and all his mind games and torture tactics 

Now I'm almost living the dream

1 more months of community service 

8 more anger management days

6 months is my goal to have all probation paid off

Then I'm buying 2+ pounds of marijuana 

All new smoking stuff

I'm already keeping my apartment clean

Taking care of my cats

I'm not even counting the days until probation is over

I'm counting the days until I can place the order on my first pound lol 

I'm literally planning the most fun I've ever had in my life and it's only like 6 months away

Then I got to wait several more months to actually have the fun

But just getting the shipment will be the best thing ever to date I think haha

Aaaahhhhhh so happy everything is working out

Everything is going perfectly 

Just paid for another year of upbe4t.com

So we still got another year boys !

Watching thca review videos on YouTube

Gets me to giddy lol excited happy ready for my day when I place my order

Watching reviews for another website that sells $500 pounds and the stuff looks good good

Maybe like this website more than the first one I found

One thing I know 

I'm going to have 2+ pounds by the time I get done

I want the entire set up before I get off

Rosin press pollen press enail rig 2+ pounds q-tips isopropyl alcohol dab mats dabber tools torch and butane at least an ounce of concentrates

This is going to be so.much.fun lol hahahaha

Glad I get to hangout with you guys for another year

I'm doing so good

I'm going to get this done

<3

Saturday 6/28/2025 1:46PM

quick update post about everything I talk about

just got back from the store bought bread, sweet tea, a bag of ice, and some chocolate sweets kinda like twinkies

used my snap on the bread and tea and paid for the sweets and ice

on Monday I have to go to ssa office, work, and am

cs tuesday-thursday gonna be nice having friday off they won't be there because it's july 4th

I owe around 215$ for july I have 300$ to spend on it so i'll be ahead

got 16 more days of cs i'll be done on july 30th that'll be excellent

am won't be done until august 18th but that's not too far away and it's only 1 day a week for 1 hour it goes by pretty fast

still got plenty of time on probation to save up a lot of money and buy some nice stuff

was looking at getting a pair of new shoes a hat some shirts

tired of wearing old clothes want to get some nice stuff

about coding

I just haven't felt like doing it I don't want to log in to 11 or work on my code lol

just going to wait until I really want to do it and not half ass it

about fees looking like I could be done with everything by around january

and I do have to save my money because they don't let you pay your supervision fee ahead

on to the fun stuff

I definitely plan on buying 2 or 3 pounds of thca I found a website I really like I read the entire website I looked at reviews on youtube it all looks very good very legit

I plan on buying all I need to get back where I was at

enail dab rig, pollen press, rosin press

I have all my old stuff but I think I want to buy all new stuff because my pollen press was broken, I was cooking tuna on my rosin press like tuna and ramen lololol, and my enail was broken I had rigged it to work

so my enail I use is demedo and on the website the one I want is sold out maybe they'll restock

the pollen press is no brand so i'll just pick one up from a shop

the rosin press is a dulytek

i'll have time to get all new stuff and a few pounds

i'm thinking new pollen press new rosin press new enail 2-3 pounds of flower and a ounce of dabs batter or crumble

when I start smoking again I don't want to do the flower bong rips even gravity rips I'm going to try to start out being professional like I was taking clean dab rig hits with homemade rosin from the flower I buy

I love cleaning the rig after each hit setting the temps perfect on the press and the rig

I like pressing at 214f and I like dabbing between 320f-420f but sometimes i'll take a hot hit like 720f-1200f

when I don't really care about the high more about the flavor

I could always taste green gummy worms with my homemade rosin

also have to get the q-tips and isopropyl alcohol

I still have my dab mats I need to probably get new dabber tools

but I want to mainly dab for my fix not really smoke flower

going to be so much fun i'll have more than i've ever had before

and just sit on it

get to be so creative and really make some cool content

it's like everything I have to do cleaning cooking working etc is not a chore it's something I love when i'm high and I put everything in to do it perfectly where like now I just do my best and usually miss stuff

when i'm high I get every inch done

I haven't been making youtube videos in the past few months

honestly I haven't done anything worth putting on youtube

but it is getting about time to post on youtube

been focused on consuming and the website

well that is today's update

tomorrow is another day off

then monday is a pretty busy day i'll try something tuesday i'll definitely post something

Just woke up

I knocked out lol

Had a crazy sexual dream

This blonde hair blue eyes

She didn't care for me much at the beginning 

But I basically kept taking her lol

Like I would run up and lay down in front of her and she would give me fellatio

And I would just keep running to her like I needed her to breathe and she would keep doing it

Then one time I ran up to her and ate her ass from behind

Then all of a sudden it was a giant group of people in floaty tubes

With small sized container crates in water

They were super heavy but float

Then there was a ton of people on like a dock boat for the floaties

And someone yelled

I didn't know what was happening but it looked like it was about to sink

But everyone you could see was inside a container 

And it was like they would sink eventually and everyone would die so it was important to keep it floating by laying on the floaty

Very weird dream

I've never actually needed someone to breathe

Thank God it was a blonde hair blue eyes

Something about waking up at 6:30am mowing for 2 and a half hours

Then walking a mile

Then eating a lot of good food

Then passing smooth out for a nap

Made me want to get head and eat a girl's ass

And it was my favorite type of girl for that activity 

Done

It turned out delicious 

Ground beef

Mushrooms

Butter

Salt

Jalapenos + jalapeno juice

Ketchup 

The Mexican Cheese

Mild guacamole salsa

Put on plate

Grab with bread

Loose meat sandwiches 

Aaaaaaahh

Feels good to be home

And I'm done for the weekend

Now to decide what to eat

Honestly I want sandwiches but I don't have any lunch meat 

I got ground beef and bread I could make loose meat sandwiches 

But no onion or limes :(

Sitting in my underwear cooling off

Because I mowed then walked a mile home

And I don't feel like walking or cooking but I'm hungry 

If I go to the store really quick I can get an onion limes and sweet tea

Then I have to cook it all

Yuck lol

Think I'm going to pass on the onion lime and sweet tea and just make this loose meat sandwich

I have noodles but I don't want to wait for them to cool down after I cook them

Loose meat sandwiches it is

Aaaannndddd here I go !

7:11am 6/27/2025

Wide awake 

Just smoked my first cig and drinking coffee 

It's Friday

About to do my last day of cs for the week

So glad I'm about to be off for a couple days

Never got a call to confirm my cs schedule for next month not going to think too much about it

The website is doing awesome

We averaged 1k views for a long time, a year or two at least

In the past 6 months or so we have been averaging 2k views a month

Doubling out views

Very cool

And I'm not posting much 11 content guides or programs

Mostly just talking about probation fees and plans & my life updates

Really cool to see me just posting what's going on is pulling an audience 

Whelp about time to get to cs

I'll probably post later

I'm so excited right now hahaha

I just want to keep my job and not mess up my ssi

pay everything off by around january

then I'm 100% buying several pounds

I already picked a favorite website

which I am not going to share lol

gaah

it's like back in the day but better

I'm going to have so much fun

even if I only get like 3 or 4 pounds

this is literally going to change my life for the better

and my content quality will almost instantly skyrocket

and i'll be able to invest in my content

this is such a great epiphany

this is goddamn going to be the best moment of my life

ever and probably for the entire duration

I can't go to sleep tonight because i'm so excited hahaha

with about 5 mins of google'ing i've found the most beautiful websites ever

pounds for 850$

I could literally buy over 7 pounds in 16 months

this is

gorgeous

I want 7 pounds of 30%+ thca

okay

sticking to this plan

I'm paying everything off and saving for what I can't pay for(because the rules can only pay up to 2 months in advance)

then i'm buying thca by the pound

it has next day shipping and is 100% legal in texas

I think I just found a door to heaven

I'm staying up past my bedtime to look at all the stuff I could buy in that 16 months

11:17pm 6/26/2025

time to go to sleep

cs in the morning

i'll be back on tomorrow probably talking about the same stuff I talk about every single day

got my plans

sticking to them

delving deep into my plans calculating the best options to get everything done with the least amount of effort

I don't even care what I do tomorrow at cs

hopefully it is mowing or meals for the elderly

I wouldn't mind mowing I need a break from meals

but i'll get a 3 day break because of the weekend

after tomorrow i'll be at 16 days left

I scheduled 16 days in July

My birthday is coming up, July 15th i'll be 32 years old

planning on going to eat I think either Japanese hibachi or buffalo wild wings

going to be a small birthday dinner

obviously I can't smoke or drink again on this birthday just like the last 2 birthdays

and next year I won't be able to either when I turn 33

but with that in mind it only looks like it'll be 

wait it confuses me

may 2025 = start, may 2026 = 1 year, may 2027 = 2 years

july 2025 = 32, july 2026 = 33,  and by july 2027 = 34 i'll definitely be done

so just waiting for that 34th birthday in 2 years lol

in reality I should be done around march 2027 or it could be a few months earlier

a long time really

may 2025 -> may 2026 = 1 year i'll have everything paid off or saved up just visits for like 16 months

may 2026 -> march 2027 = done

just need to keep my job for 6+ months

work as much as I can

turn my stubs in to ssa on time

paying is not the issue substance use is not the issue

at this point it is just the raw amount of time, 16-22 months

gives me a ton of time to buy a lot of marijuana

stock up

maybe get some nice glass

because if an ounce is like 200 and i'm getting like 400 a month

I could be a pound in like 8 months

and i'll have 16-22 months

so I could buy more than 2 pounds by the time it's all said and done

 

Phone and Internet paid for July

Got my rent money ready for the first

Have 350 left over for probation 

And 50 on snap for food

Bought bleach trash bags and kitty litter at the store

The girls still have a full bag of food

Now it's time to tidy up my apartment

Gotta tell the landlord my toilet runs constantly and my shower is clogged when he comes to get rent on the first

So my apartment needs to be clean and nice

Have cs tomorrow morning

Then I get all weekend off

Scheduled next month cs

All am shifts Tuesday-friday 1st-30th with 4th and 15th off then I should be done

Got am until August 18th

Could be done with court fees by October 

Have money to pay off my am class

Then my supervision fees should be saved up and ready to go by January - May most likely around January 

After everything is paid off or saved up

I want to buy a lot of weed and sit on it until I'm free to smoke it

I also want to buy a woodlands elite hat from the we website 

But they're out of stock of the ones I want

And I don't really like the ones that they have in stock

Time to put on some music and clean my apartment 

Then maybe I'll get to doing some work on my code

I only paid for basic sub on 11 this month

and I am not disappointed

if I paid that extra 14$ for the wardrobe

I would of got all my stuff

but I only use it like max 4 times a month to do ep parties

most I do in game is ep pt or talk to ls

I didn't do anything in game I didn't even leave my mh besides doing fisher tests

I developed my programs & talked to ls for a little bit

think I'm going to do the same thing next month

nothing does it for me about 11 besides coding lol

really I should move everything out the pay to use wardrobes to the free wardrobes so I can actually play

like all my rmea+escutcheon are in 4 all my jug pets and pet food is in 6

I just need to move those things to the free ones

then it is nothing

 880+140 = 1020

600 rent 20 internet 30 phone

1020-650 = 370

-70 -60

240 +70-150

310-390

to spend towards court this month

1000 owed

if I can keep making 400 i'll be done in 3 months lol

then 1200 left on supervision

if I can keep making 400

that's 400 800 1200

i'll be done in 3 months lol

planned on having everything paid off in a year

but I may be able to get it done in 6 months hahaha

I figured for sure my job would let me go before I got everything paid and I would have to struggle to get it done

but the new owners seem like they want to keep me

so if I can keep my job for like 6+ months

i'm golden

i'll get court paid i'll get supervision saved up

then I can actually start spending my hard earned money I work for on things for my apartment

good kitty food and treats trash bags bleach good food I can actually get pizza delivered and go to get food at actual places not just making everything at home

so excited for december to get here to see how far i've got

I'm only 2 months in I have like 20 months to go

but i've got so much done so fast

it's going to be easy

if I can keep this rate up

i'll have literally everything done besides doing my visits once a month

if I owe 2,200 right now

and I make 400 a month to spend

that's 400 800 1200 1600 2000 2400

6 months to have it all done hahahaha

i'm so excited

I never thought I could make this much money

I'm making 1350 a month

a normal person that doesn't have a high paying easy job 

I work 2 days a week at a physical job

I get ssi and I get 100$ taken out each month

when I get done with probation

i'll have nearly 700$ a month to spend on weed and beer lol

I never in my wildest dreams would of thought i'd be make 1350 a month

350 a month maybe

not 1350

get all cs done July 30th

get am done august 18th

finish paying court before december

finish saving for supervision may

but at this rate i'll get court paid off by october

and save everything up for supervision by january

then I got 17 months of just visits

Once I get everything paid and saved

i'm going to start hoarding thca from the smoke shops with all my extra money lol

just buying tons of thca vapes and flower

and when my day comes that I can smoke and drink again

have like 5+ ounces to smoke all the first day

i'm going to smoke so much I get sick

and just sit on my computer with 11 up looking at code

coming up with the next big program

listening to music like it is 2013 again

all my songs I can only listen to when i'm blazeing

I think back over the last 10-15 years what I had the most fun doing

and smoking brisket each weekend making steak and poppers cooking in the dutch oven is way up there maybe #2 overall

but sitting in my restroom floor with my phone on insta and pandora hitting my gravity with ounces of weed either drinking or taking lsd or all three has to be the most fun

and it's weird because I think I want to have fun what do I do for fun what have I done for fun over the last 10-15 years

and the most fun thing is sitting directly by the toilet on the ground smoking weed on my phone

I started out doing it because I could blow the smoke out the window and the smell wouldn't go in the house

then I started doing it because my restroom was small and I could hotbox it

then I smoked in my room but it was bigger and I didn't like the way it felt as much

I like being able to stretch my arms out and touch all four walls

then just sit down and smoke as much as I could until I couldn't smoke anymore

I'm so ready to get to smoke in my apartment

I'm going to get this probation done

and i'll probably never get in trouble again

and what I did to get in trouble was so worth the punishment

I would do it all again any day of the week

Woke up early today

20 mins until cs

4 and a half weeks to go !

Maybe I'll do some work on code later today

9:55pm

It is now my bedtime 

Didn't even turn my laptop on tonight 

Maybe tomorrow 

Setting my alarm

Putting phone on charger 

Taking a shower

Maybe making some noodles real quick

But it's time for me to go to sleep

That feeling like you forgot something 

Or wanting something really bad and tried but failed

Or wanted to keep that gf and it didn't work out

But out of the blue for no reason

Maybe it's you what to take a shower

Maybe it's you want to get a soda

Maybe it's you wish you got ice from the ice machine at work

Whatever it is you don't even know what it is

But you feel down in the dumps randomly for a little bit not often but just that one day for a few hours every few months

I want a shower

I want a Dr thunder

I want to smoke a cig

I've been thinking about her because my underwear smell like she used to smell

I saw some bows I want to buy on Facebook 

I'm not hungry 

I just feel down out of no where lol

Like there's nothing that'll make it better

But I know I can do so much to shake it off

Crazy day at work

Got there at 11

Clocked in 11:30

Did all my normal things taking trash from bins putting new trash bags in working on pool picking up trash in parking lot

Well it's 3 now and that's usually when I click out

The gm showed up right at 3 and told me to clock back in so I did

Then he printed a list of all the rooms at the hotel

And I had to go to each room knock say maintenance loudly wait a few seconds then use a master key to get in if no answer

Well I started fine did a lot of rooms with no people did a few rooms with people

Then all of a sudden I got to 135

I knock in say maintenance twice wait a minute then use my master key like I did on all the rooms before

A girl was in the room in bed with just a towel on she said

How did you open my door why are you in my room

Capmy I explain I'm maintenance we're checking toilets

Btw hotel is spending too much on water supposed to be using 100,000 gallons using 300,000 somehow and the overcharge is hurting the money

So she says let me get dressed then you can come in

Alright

So I do two more rooms

Then she comes out in just a bra

I do my job

She's fussing and saying she has a meeting in 8 mins

It takes me about 20 seconds to check the toilet

I tell her I'm doing it to every single room in the entire hotel

She apologizes

Then I go on and do about 40 more rooms

Well I'm going up to the front desk so they can call the rooms that I couldn't get in

Her boyfriend is now at the front desk

Saying I barged in and she was completely naked and how unprofessional 

Making a huge deal

Being big

He didn't know it was me and I was sitting right there

He asks to talk to the gm

So I walk outside to smoke a cigarette 

I've checked like 80 rooms toilets I haven't smoked in 2 hours it was time

The gm gets there and the guy just apologizes because he knows we're checking all rooms then leaves

Everyone at the front desk was laughing when he left

Then GM even pulled me to the side and asked if I did see her naked

I saw a naked girl

A naked guy

And a guy in his whitey tighties 

Crazy day definitely didn't know I would be doing that when I signed up just to do trash and pool

Gm said I could work more hours but I don't want to lol

Up at work

Already did all the bins

About to pick up trash around the parking lot

Filling up the pool with water

I need to add shock tablets and do a backwash

But unfortunately we're out of shock so going to need to buy more before I can add it

Cs was fine we went to meals for the elderly and finished early then went to a book place called the learning center

Once we were done they told us to grab a book if we wanted it

I asked if they had any college books

Because I wanted a computer programming language book

And she said since the professors write the books and they write a new one every year that they just throw them away

Lol

They treat them like garbage 

Tried to tinker with my code for a little bit last night but for some reason nothing was working

I was getting an error trying to create instance I think my laptop was on for too long and ran out of memory but I'll have to look when I get home even the speeder.exe wouldn't work

I asked my anger management instructor what it's called if I'm a computer programmer and sometimes code doesn't work or you have to read and read or ask ai but you enjoy that

It's stressful but it isn't bad stress because you enjoy it then the payoff when it actually works

He said positive stress

Home !

So glad to have this day over with

Now I got like 2 hours before I need to go to sleep

Just woke up

Took an hour and a half long nap

Got 20 mins to get to am

Majority of anger management is him talking about keywords and what to do when you get angry or situations that make people angry and what to do if caught in an argument with your wife

He told one story and it stuck with me

"I never use utensils never have I use tortillas for all my food just scoop it up and yeah you know

I was at a restaurant with my wife and some family and I pulled out my tortillas she got on to me and said to eat with my utensils I had never done that before but I knew it meant something to her so I did it and it was something I had to learn."

I want to tell the instructor he said something and I tried it and it worked

But I'm sure he would think something to manager anger

When in reality 

It's now I eat all my food with tortillas and it is better 

Gah ended up waiting 2 and a half hours in the social security administration office to get my number called

Finally got that done

Most likely the reason for my overpayments is not turning check stubs in on time

And the most they can take out is 10%

So I feel a weight lifted

Time to cool off in front of my AC in my little apartment 

Make some of the orange chicken I bought

Drink a Dr thunder 

I got 3 hours until my class

And I really don't want to mess with code right now

So I probably will try to watch some YouTube

I like watching the dark web whisper to the beast guy thunder keck I like staying updated on the dark web shoes and listening to the beast

I also like watching the shilt show halo 2 glitches but that's kinda getting played

And I like watching crime horrific stuff and normal arrests

Crime doesn't pay and I don't do anything illegal I even smoke legal bud when I do smoke

It's cool watching people seeing them get 25 years or a 100,000$ fine and just watching which is Interesting reminds me not to do any of that

I guy switched the labels from ground beef to steaks at a Walmart and did jail time and a 750$ fine

Pretty cool watching crime

I was watching the pedophile show were they have like a 30 year old dressed up as a 12 year old talking to men and the team gets disgusted at everything the guys say

At night I like watching what happens to pedophiles in prison 

And usually they get raped to death or stabbed to death

Then I get on stripchat and go in my homemade pocket pussy

I feel like watching something like the dark web thunder keck guy maybe he released a new video today

For babies born 2024

It'll be 2042 by the time they are 18

Aaahhhh made it home

First part of the day done

Now to get all my paperwork and go to ssa

Then come back home

Rest for a few hours

Then am class

After that back home to rest and work on code

Gotta go to sleep around 9pm or 10pm

Because have to be up at 6:30am

20 more days !

I love ciggies !

Dr thunder in my veins !

Found a $20 bill today cha ching

It feels like it's going slow but it also feels like it's going fast

Probably because of how much I depend on my SSI and if it has issues and gets taken away, I'm sol

Hopefully when I talk to them today I'll find something out

It's almost over

45 more mins then I gotta go to ssa

It's 12:03 I'm leaving at 12:45

Score !

I found a $20 bill floating on top of the swimming pool

That's 20 more than I had

Because I spent my last 20 on smokes yesterday 

Bought $100 worth of food yesterday and can't wait to eat the orange chicken I got

I tried to share a ribeye steak and shrimp with Salem yesterday 

She wouldn't even try them

At least Cali ate some of the steak with me

I tinkered around with a section of the code I don't understand until about 5am

Learned a few new things but never actually got it working

The Google co pilot ai deep thinking is really cool

You can keep having a conversation with it and asking new questions to things you've already asked

The dumpster is overflowing at work which is not uncommon for a Monday 

So I'm sitting in the shade in a stairwell smoking a cig posting this

Waiting for the trash truck

So they can dump it twice 

As soon as they dump it I have to fill it up with the stuff around it

Could just be sitting smoking for like an hour and a half 

Getting paid for it

110/180 hours done

70 hours to go

3.5 hours a day

20 days

4 days a week for 5 weeks

Just get this week over with

I'll be at

124/180

With 56 hours left

Then 4 weeks left

I'm so tired of waking up early all week lol

9:24am

I'm awake

Got 30 mins to get dressed and get to woke

I want to have a little breakfast 

Should be done around 12

Gotta go to social security administration afterwards 

Make sure everything is good even though they make it sound terrible 

Then come home around 3 or 4ish then get ready to go to am at 7 to 8

Once that's all done

Tomorrow bright and early 

Got cs at 7:30am so have to be awake by about 6:30am

Get this week done

I'll have 16 more visits to go

4 times a week 4 weeks 

Just get to Friday 

Then I'll have Saturday Sunday Monday off

Gah another week of this lol

Just this week then 4 more weeks

I'm getting tired of this

But I want to get it done

thc is legal in texas if it is under 0.3%

thca is completely legal

thca is a precursor to thc

just need decarboxylation to turn thca to thc which usually is just the heat from the flame of a lighter

but thca always turns to thc even if the flower is sitting in a sealed jar at room temp

i've smoked thca since it first was introduced in 2019

I did a quick research lesson on all the legal types and thca was my first go to because it was supposedly the acid form which I did a lot of acid so I figured it would do better in my system

I really didn't know until later it was the exact same thing as thc after heated

I tried cbd I tried delta8 then thca and several others were introduced and I just gravitated straight to thca because the word acidic

cbd delta 8 delta 10 thca hhc 

I remember about 4 or 5 more but cannot think of their names

it seems like all of them got removed entirely

and thca is the king

unfortunately I still have around 2 years before I can smoke and I know better from last time than to test anything out and suffer the consequences

I've heard horror stories on the cs bus of people that have signed to be done go smoke directly after signing get called in to come to the office fail a test and have to do it all over again from the very start

it's hard enough just doing the normal stuff you have to do

august 5th done with cs

august 18th done with am

january done with court costs

may 2026 done with supervision fees

1 year from may 2026 to may 2027 done

and I could get off a month or two early

maybe march or april 2027

but at least i'm not struggling it's honestly not bad at all I drink soda or tea or aqua fresca I smoke cigs like a chuuchuu train I got my cats for support

it sucks I'm still like 20 months away and it's going to take so long

may

june july august september october november december(7)

january february march april may(5)

june july august september october november december january february march april(11)

around 650 days 23 months 

right now it's fast because so much cs and am and work

but once cs and am is done

and it's just work a couple days a week

it'll be much faster because i'll be at home and I can basically sleep away the entire days

try to sleep like 4 or 5 days a week

never really need to leave the house for anything

just stay in drink my drinks smoke my cigs sleep as much as possible code as much as possible as long as it doesn't interrupt sleep

just looking forward to getting everything done and paid

then just having visits for like 16 months 

go in once a month for like 20 mins and done

go in the next month for like 20 mins and done

and repeat and repeat then eventually actually done

it is a long time no one is denying that

but if I can get in the rhythm of sleeping like 12-16 hours a day and end up sleeping 3/4ths of the time that would be the best case scenario

get food a few times a month do my job one the two days a week basically the only reason to leave the house sleep alllllllllllll day wake up to code for a little bit

70 hours of cs left 14 hours a week 5 weeks

get that done august 5th

get am done august 18th

after all that the biggest thing is keeping my ssi running

that's 23 months my ssi needs to continuously run with no issues

at this moment in time that's the biggest thing that could kill my plan

because they keep saying I am getting overpaid

but i'm only making like 70$ a check so I have literally no idea why

going to the office tomorrow to try to get some answers

my mom asks basically nothing from me I do everything she wants

just if I ask to go eat out somewhere like bww or golden corral she wants me to be able to pay for myself

my dad wants me to have a kid

and I want to have a kid but I don't have enough money

then he wants me to go work with him on the oil rig and I wouldn't mind that

he's telling me I can make $5k a week and i'd love that

he wants me to get off of ssi and make a living

and working for the rest of my life until I retire sounds awful when I could just not work and live off of ssi

but 5k a week is definitely enough to raise the kid I want and buy the home I want not just live in an apartment for the rest of my life

I want to tell him after I get off of probation but I think he wants it now because it's open now and may not be in 2 years

it's like everything my dad asks me to do I feel like I literally cannot do it

another thing about that job they do hair follicle test 90 days no weed or alcohol or anything

I want to smoke and drink when I get done with probation lol

I don't want to do 4 years sober then have to do 30 more years sober before I can smoke or drink

it's like

live in an apt have just enough $ no kids get to smoke and drink all day vs get a nice house have plenty of money have plenty of kids raised how I want cheer sports cars on 16th bday nice parties lake days nice clothes and no smoking or drinking for 30+ years

like i'm definitely taking option #1 any day of the week

can you imagine how that went

so close to the wire

his wife reading late night emails at 11:55

his grandkids playing with walkie talkies or something 11:56

11:57 mr governor sir you have 3 mins to decide on senate bill 3

11:58 ohhh oh that one just veto it

everyone been refreshing google ai all day every 5 mins for weeks

comes down to the last 2 mins

everyone finally feels safe

everyone can keep their job and buisness

everyone can keep buying their medicine legally

and good guy greg is the cool man on campus

 actually(continuation from last post) just did a search

looks like the bill did get vetoed

yay for thc being legal in texas lol

I still got 2 years before I can enjoy it but at least it's not gone for good before now I guess

I know a lot of people at work depended on legal thc for their sanity

good for everyone

good for the people making the decision

good for the people that have used and get to keep using

good for the kids that apparently are being marketed too

the way I see it

no matter what age if a kid wants to drink they're pretty much going to drink

weed is about the same way

just because they can advertise to youngins with youngin things

that's not a good enough reason to ban it all together

neither is it opening up room for more good things to be sold

I've wrote tons of code over the last few days and that's great

I've got better at it every single day solving some dead ends i've had which is great

I want to keep doing better

and I also want to keep releasing things

in the past week i've wrote about 30 .py's that I need to figure out what I want to do with

finding the right thing tweaking the code to make it stable

and finding a proper place for it

there's still so much I want to learn

I'm sticking with python it has been the best to me

something like

GetNextChatLine()

public EliteAPI.ChatEntry GetNextChatLine()
{
    this.UpdateInternalLog();
    if (this._chatLog.Count == 0)
    {
        return null;
    }
    return this._chatLog.Dequeue();
}

I have literally no idea how to make something like this work

and I really want to solve this riddle of making this small section of code work

11:55 did a little more research too tired to try anything

time for sleep

I waited all day to see if the thc ban got signed not signed or veto'd

looks like it's going to be not signed and still pass

Speeder

REMEMBER TO RIGHT CLICK AND RUN AS ADMINISTRATOR

I can absolutely tell you if you do not run as admin it will NOT work

DOWNLOAD IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE

this is a movement speed program I wrote with my newfound knowledge of being able to use a dll to read and write data to ff11 using python

1. extract the .exe

all the rar contains is the exe everything needed is packed in it

2. run as administrator

3. in the drop down menu of the program find your pol.exe

if you run multiple pol.exe's just remember the PID that shows up and make sure you pick the PID you want

4. pick a speed with the slider

5. press start when ready and stop when you want to turn off

0 is stuck in place 5 is about normal speed anything past 50 is very fast

be careful when using this program

you can pretty much use it anytime people are not around and in some linkshells that are fine with it you can use

this isn't tested for private servers but as long as the boot exe is named pol.exe (even if you change it along with all the other things(refrences in your private server code) that need to be changed for the pol.exe to boot your private server)

it should work

this was originally made for retail and it works for that

there's really no reason to have more movement speed programs there's plenty of them out there

I just wanted to release something with my newfound knowledge

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1h1gNGNSjz85_uxEBDi67avGPXR6Y4xg6/view?usp=drive_link

code for the program is on the speeder page on the right side of the homepage under crafter

-upbeat

got a stable version of a movement speed program

plan on changing a few things up

it should be ready for a test release soon

maybe later tonight if I get busy with it or maybe in a few days

this is what I have right now

you select your process

then the speed you want to go with the slider

the apply speed button will be removed

start starts whatever speed you set stop ends it

currently not having any issues with the program crashing

you can start and zone and the program will work fine

had issues with the program crashing when running and changing the slider simultaneously this has been fixed

had issues with the loop crashing the program this has been fixed

originally had the index as manually entered and this has now been made automatic

about to run to the store to buy some food going to do some work before then and hopefully finish when I get back home

this will be released on its own page with the code so everyone can see how it works

thank you

-upbeat

Ignoring the hospital bills

Why does it seem so hard to have a kid

Getting the sex is hard enough

Finding the girl that wants to have a kid is nearly impossible 

Then the chance that girl is good and wants the best for me and is willing to stick around

I make around 18k/year

I don't make enough to go out to different bars and buy drinks I don't know anywhere else girls go

It seems like you have the poor parents that have the kids for more money

And you have the rich parents that can buy anything 

And in the middle it's like nothing

I haven't seen a girl I could have kids with in over 10 years and the last was an ex gf 12 years ago my last gf actually we tried but it didn't work

I can never do anything my asks me to do

I feel so incapable lol

I have no idea where to even start

And I don't want to start until I get off of probation 

Then I know I have an illegal wall I have to climb to even get to the girls

Not because underage or anything 

It's just like all the girls are on the other side of a wall where you have to do illegal things to even get close to them

Then you have to cross the illegal wall again to get them to your place or go to theirs 

Still cannot believe my dad is just literally telling me

Find a girlfriend have a kid

He's told me I should think about it because we're all getting old

But he's never just told me he wanted me to do it

He's telling me the one thing he wants me to do for him is have a kid

Like asap

That's gotta mean something 

Sunday 6/22/2025

got my snap today

bought a pound and a half of sirloin steak

cooked it up

tried to share with Salem but she didn't even want it

gotta go to ssa tomorrow then I have my am class later in the day

also have to go to work for an hour or two is all though

20 more days of cs at 4 a week for 5 weeks

doing all this cs really makes my weeks go by fast

I wake up it's 6:45am get ready then before I know it it's 11am i'm getting lunch then going to sleep and doing it again lol

cs ends around the end of july

am ends around august 18th

after that all I have is visits once a month and paying my fees

try to have am paid off sometime in july

have court costs paid off by january

have all the money to pay off supervision fees by around may or june

need to clean my apartment today just tidy up really

checked if the texas thc ban got signed or veto'd

today is apparently the last day and there's no clear answers on google

working on code a little bit

lost a lot of interest but still cleaning code up a little

trying to make my code more stable

so from my testing today

I'm finding c# sorta has a way of thinking on its own

where python is more like a script

it seems the c# programs do have their flaws like getting stuck on and what not

but python seems to crash a lot no matter how you put it

I'm going to keep refining my code

I wrote a movement speed program

that has a slider and it changes how fast you move

but with the loop to keep movement speed on which I think in C# you can just turn it on and keep it constantly on without a loop

and moving the slider causes it to crash

but I do have a chance at fixing it

it just could keep crashing though

we'll see

Whelp

Next on the to do list

Chocobo racing program

Having two loops run and not crash the exe

I tried to make the gm flag show for about 4 hours and gave up

There's functions in the elitemmo.api.dll

That have like zero context for how to use them

And even looking deep in the discord or forum leads no where

I'd like to be able to get my pos and set a POS the program walks to

But that seems impossible without using another program for navigation or possible taking segments of code from the other programs 

I'm not feeling lucky about doing that rn

But I just watched some Tiktoks of Logan

And while her Instagram has been dead and the account I use to look at her instas is banned

Just watching a few of her Tiktoks instantly resparks the fire that was there

Get a big smile and just want to go all the way home

Think about all the memories and how she grew up right in front of me

Asked mom to get me a two piece feast well see in about an hour

No one ever posts here or anywhere of mine

But if you want something made like a program or script 

I'm taking requests 

1 to work on my skill

2 to get new ideas

Most of the things I have planned have been done a million times

& If anyone uses its probably to test or they like how I write

I want a two piece feast from churches 

 done about 4 hours of coding since I got home

it's really cool that I can read 11 data in my programs now

but unfortunately a lot of the things in the dll I cannot get to work

a command to get chat

a command to get gm flag

but it'll come in time

right now there's just not enough information to actually get them done

I'm ready to take a break

it's been a busy week since I learned how to actually use the code for my setup

got 2 days off from work and probation

I'm going to take a small break

then probably get back to coding after I make some coffee