my kitty cat Salem is a good girl

you know you never thing you want to be done with your grandparents and their last name

but when you finally get done with them because they're dead or whatever reason

if they cause more stress and struggle

it's like finally getting out of a bad marriage you had no way to divorce 

Is it just me or has the Internet gone to shit

Nothing to do on Xbox

YouTube is dead

Insta and Pinterest old tiresome looking at the same girls and all the girls have the same look 

Pluto even fell off

I was having more fun watching the local news today on a basic free cable satellite 

Retail going slow

Taking a small break from horizon

It's like just sitting in the apartment with the ac going no lights tv computer or phone

Is the best option 

Just enjoying the cats 

 I still owe 500 for when I got bonded out after I got my warrant for getting probation revoked

I should be starting up probation again any day now

I want a steam deck they're about 400-800

I'm going to start putting 20-50 to the side each month

I'm going to buy a steamdeck

I miss playing ffxi on a console and i'm tired of pc

I want to sit in my van or sit on the couch and hold the console in my hands playing ffxi

i've looked at several handhelds

rog ally

gpd win

steamdeck

and several others

the steamdeck is calling my name

if I can put away 20$ 50$ maybe 100$ a month

go to foodbanks to get food

eat at the church

cut out the mexican coca cola, monsters, tres leche cake, beer

go a little easier on cigarettes

it shouldn't be to bad

once I pay off this 500$ my mom is helping too

if I can save 100 a month it's only like 5 months

i'll have a steamdeck by july

maybe on my birthday that's july 15

once I get back on probation that's around 100 a month I have to pay too

but i'm going to get it done before the end of the year

All I wanted to say

It was easy before you needed our help

It gets hard financially now

You're going to be gone

And we're going to lose everything 

Then be homeless 

Because we or I helped you

Why would I keep helping you if I'm going to end up homeless

I ask you to stop asking me for help

You say I am your only option and keep asking

It's driving me crazy I can't take care of myself because you need me to help you so bad

Since I am helping you can you do a few things different so we can at least get along

Spitting, hawking, pissing, half way closing then slamming the door, slamming the toilet lid, 

Can you go outside

Can you spit quietly 

All with no as the answer and throwing a fit 

So I lost my goddamn mind and fought for my defense 

So #2 has internal bleeding and bloody stool

He's getting a blood transfusion now

He wants to go to a nursing facility instead of leaving the burden on my family by going home

I'm like damn

How hard I tried to have him sent to a nursing home or retirement home

Lol

Damn that man was hard headed to work around and for

Now he's going to go on his own

After all that bs

I guess I can't say anything it's been a year and a half since I've dealt with him

But a year and a half for being pushed in a corner and made a bedridden invalid for him to gain strength from and fighting back like my life depended on it

It's not like you can walk away and be safe

You can't hit them once and be safe

It's 100% required you knock them unconscious 

If I hit him once if I walked away that's just as bad as knocking him unconscious to get away safely 

But being forced to fight in county jail starved and forced to learn to live by those rules then forced to do weird things like stopping using medicine and start smoking cigarettes is so cruel and unusual lol

If he agrees to go to a nursing or retirement home

I hope he lives

If he demanding going home to be a baby and give my family hell

I hope he dies before he gets a chance to leave ICU

time for a break from ff11

mats getting put on the ah too slow

+1s sell too slow

not enough to do

i'll resub when I miss standing around chatting with ls enough to pay the 30$ or race change is live

exemplar parties come too slow

events too slow

taking a break from horizon

got lvl 30 unlocked & bst

lvled everything a little

not very interested in lvling more

choco digging and fishing take so long to cap

gil is so hard to make without a lvl 75

need to ask for help on so much content

don't want to keep asking for help

so

time for a break from ffxi and horizon

i'll probably play horizon in a few days

probably going to be a few weeks before retail

I want to use my crafting app on horizon

But I'm afraid I'll get banned >.<

20 months without marijuana

a year and a half 

without being able to fully depend on marijuana for any little thing that upset me or because I got sick

I've smoked a few times that's what got my probation revoked before I got back on my injection

it feels so freaking weird to not want to smoke at all when it's so good for me

I smoke cigarettes and I like cigarettes more than I liked marijuana

it's cheaper and easier to get

so many times i've able to just grab another cigarette and smoke

where if I was smoking marijuana I know I would be out and have to deal with that

just waiting to get back on probation and be able to actually do it without smoking marijuana

I have literally no pull to smoke marijuana and I get offered a few times a month and it's so easy to say no

I smoked for any little thing that went wrong

now it's just a cigarette and they do the same thing lol

much unhealthier but they allow it so that's okay I guess

such a long time waiting to get back on probation to get it all over with

I'm excepting 3 years but it could be a year or two years

just have to keep doing good not smoking marijuana

I feel like such a fake sell out having this attitude like marijuana is not what saved my life and it is something bad

but that's how the judicial system works lol

can't wait to smoke a gravity bong hit in my apartment with all this punishment out of my way

never thought getting in one little fight could retard my life by 6 years

 

I think horizon finally gave me my ffxi fix

for so long

I play retail but I don't get my ffxi fix

I feel like I can actually play other video games for once in like three years lol

war 30    mnk 16

whm 5    blm 5

rdm 5      thf 5

bst 1

working on getting all jobs including advanced jobs to 37

then I plan on taking all jobs to 50

then all jobs to 66

then work the jobs up to 75

I have to worry about getting the further out tele crystals xarc and the desert and jungle

I need to get my rank up 3+

as many outposts as possible

and I have to plan on doing the limit breaks

some of the advanced jobs do require help as they have fights involved like nin and drg

i'll need to lvl up and limit break or ask for help

that's what I have planned so far for horizon xi

Day #4 of Horizon today.

plan is to work on my other jobs getting them to 10+ all for subjobs

Day #3 I got war to 30 and unlocked beastmaster

now I need to level my mages so I can sub whm on bst

slowly getting all jobs to 30

then working towards 50 for all the jobs

I do plan on getting a maats cap a relic an ebisu and a 100 craft

for now i'm just getting all my jobs to 30

 I'm pretty much sold on Mandau being the best relic on horizon

I look at the others and think about how thf is going to always be used the most to make gil

and mandau wins every single time

guttler would be fun for bst but bst isn't going to get used like that much

ghorn for brd

apoc for drk

excal for rdm and pld

and mandau wins every single time

Its nice to see the black women being adults making food having that nice attitude and taking care of their family

Its been too long they've been part of the bme movement

Its like an entire 180

I was beginning to think you had to be bloody tortured as a white person and sign a contract with the devil to make yourself come back from death and it was always a black woman 

 up to lvl 14 on horizon

ls member from DKOB help by giving me a care package in return for help with retail

taking a break to take a shower just doing a quick update

I had my first torta last night it was awesome

think it's time for a big piece of tuna

 one of the oldest memories in the book

everyone getting involved making this worse not just for me or themselves but for their kids and everyone

and you want to say yall do everything wrong can you just do stuff right

but you know they can't

and that's a 

"you should of sucked my d**k not hurt me"

Oh !!!!!

We caught it :)

It's not horizon

It's the injection wearing off like it has the past 4+ month on the second day before the injection 

Good thing we make our own schedule at work and can afford to miss work to get our sleep

So far being a schizophrenic has got literally nothing of value as far as medicine and patent treatment 

If it's good for anything it's good for getting off work a few days before the injection after the injection has worn off

The shot is very specific it has to be on an exact day no sooner even if it has worn off for it to work but it can be later because if you're 5 mins late to appointment nurse won't see you so have to reschedule 

Really like horizon so far

It's letting me talk to a little girl

I smoked weed in college 

I'm done with college now

I smoke cigarette to easy the pain of being alive which I'm forced to just consider it the pain of being alive because I'm perfect 

It's like I've never even smoked weed once before

I have zero pull towards it

It makes me think what even is the reason to smoke it

they wanted me to come to work tonight because a 14 year old is having a birthday party and several other girls of that age are over there

to take them back to their room if they walk the property

I'm a hotel security guard that never got an easy girlfriend

I'm not qualified

I don't feel safe and I don't get paid enough

sorry

not without some better insurance plans

it's a liability

I just watch the parking lot

i'm not a miracle worker

 I'm starting to realize, I have it better than everyone else; by not getting anything I've ever wanted.

getting to breast feed while conscious, don't want anymore

getting to give a girl a bath, still want

getting money without working, don't care much work for money is fine

not having to drink or smoke, don't care it's fine either way

I can't even look at girls at walmart because it is illegal

I have to stare straight ahead because everyone instantly knows I do like them

and they put them directly in front of my face

I feel like a surgery patient

would you like to wipe their ass

do they get to be conscious while i'm doing it ?

Gonna leave the posts up a little longer then clean the website up

Just wanted to update on John

He went to the hospital had a release

Got out on a nebulizer and oxygen 

He's not watching TV he's slumped over

He can't make it to the restroom

They say he may not make it until Monday

They have to walk him or he's going on himself

So what I have to say about it

I knew it would happen with him not being able to be the leader and tell someone what to do

I fought for that man for years yeeeaaaars

I asked nicely I'm so many ways for him to slow down and get real

He always got worse

He's been getting worse for 30 years

I'm sorry my mom and sister have to go through that

I'm sorry we couldn't just sit down and talk and make it better

I won't say anything foul or ill

We tried our best we couldnt make it work

Again I'm going to repost my making peace post under this post when I get time tonight 

Next shatter of the mold will be

Everyone is an animorph

And they all switch to different animals to feel the best of each world

Dog for owners love

Cat for naps

Horse to feel like a steed

Cow to feel bored and fun

What the heck surprise are y'all folks going to drop next

Like to be a bird so you can fly without airplanes

And a groundhog so you can live in a whole

An ant to feel strong

How many times do we have to level the playing field today from breaking set in stone rules to human life existence 

Little bastard keeps spending all my gil trying to copy a YouTube video

So I work him in his sleep

God and the devil like in every man and God is everything including men

We treat John like our baby

And Dakotah like he's bad

Dakotah is our man and a baby iys God and the devil

So we're all dying because John made Dakotah a loan and didn't pay it back

How much does Dakotah owe

No John made Dakotah a loan gave Dakotah away

Then he didn't pay his Dakotah bill to pay off the loan 

What all did Dakotah steal from Janet

1 cigarettes 

Because he stole a lot from me

He didn't want to ask you for money you owed him

John smoked 1 cigarette now he's on an oxygen tank

He's dying he doesn't have a legit baby and good man to butt fuck for health

He keeps trying to snake shit his way out of this

By brain washing society 

So he can say what did I do that was so wrong

And Dakotah keeps taking notes he's up to like 40,000 with about 20 winners he wrote specifically for the occasion 

Dakotah will not let that man go

And he's adamant as all hell and heaven

And he knows for a fact it was in his self defense to fight

Fighting is toxic even more so in the family

Fight at young age to not fight the elderly

Everyone fights

He already knew fighting is bad it's not a new lesson

You only do it for your self defense 

He picked off his family one by one so they didn't have to see him fight John

And Dakotah got what he wanted

His grandma wouldn't change was costing him money and refused to see eye to eye

He nearly strangle her to death

She died just a few years later

His mom started a fight with him calling him Daddy so he threatened to spank her

His sister is his blood sacrifice he literally already calls dead and back from youth

Which leaves

John

Which john was drunk and started the fight

Dakotah knocked him out

Because he was acting like he needed Dakotah then going straight to wanting to kick him out the house but wanting him to stay and suffer even more by making his life hell

It's time to get him a car

It's time to get him a girlfriend 

He's violent 

He's violent because he hasn't had a girlfriend given to him

How do you get so many couples doing otherworldly activities getting past laws commiting crimes breaking the rules of reality by watching people's death and knowing it to kill them 

2 hours in to horizon I'm lvl 9 war

I have 19 gil

And 6 stacks of crystals

1693 conquest points

Sold a stack of crystals my first 1,000 gil 

I'm toxic

But the state made me that way

And I'm sure it's in everyone's greatest interest 

Because we're one nation under god

That guy's with my girlfriend 

She didn't like it and fought

Until he made her like it

They're both thinking about me

And it's still happening 

Because they both got shot

I'm a bum

That guy's a doctor 

He went to the ward; doctor 

I've been here so many times and tried everything never made it in there 

The ones that control the situation 

Think we are their baby

The male and my girlfriend 

We are the males father and the girl is our girlfriend 

They put innocence over everything 

And rule with Misconceptions 

They're being the nice guy

Acting as if they're mad and giving punishment

With no way to stop

I know how to stop

One is what they mean one is what they say

It's giving Dakotah a harder time than John

Knowing John was a bad grandpa and forced Dakotah

Letting John slide

And taking it out on Dakotah

That's why Dakotah is God willing and has a army behind me

They're dead

They take us to them

Yuck

That's why I play video games

Best friends girlfriend 

Attempted to kill us

Not purposely 

But to get him out FFXI retail account

Originally so we could play together

Then fixed so he would have it

Sit tight

They were happiest when you died

That's where they save

This usually sparks they have you attempted suicide 

Then the brutal murder of jesus

They purposely avoid you and do not have the even better time of being around you

It's a clear cut murder trial

See he's not a doctor he's a judge

He's not a judge that isn't his job

He's a security watch and a computer programmer 

Match 22 2025 2:02pm

Installing horizon xi

It's been calling my name for a few days

I've got everything done on retail

I want to experience 2006 again.

the reaper got george foreman

you reap what you sow deuce means two full house that makes a sweep read em and weep

means someone just died

everyone here, not johnny

he didn't die he got kilt

he did it to himself

see that's not bad

I know the grim reaper

if anyone has two of one thing going their dead

it's Saturday

lord heavenly father

I like watching him eat ribs

you can finish that one

not even archimedes could make that up

hickory dickory dock the mouse ran up clock

so do we all die or live

we live

it was when the excalibur was pulled from the stone that made our world real

the apocalypse was the end and we know this

it's the Armageddon that gets us our fruit

it already happened

we're in (heaven)

see that's all they wanted

all that fussing and that's all they wanted

SEE ???

ahhh i'm a sinner I can't feel that

ohhh that means I have to give you

they're devil worshipping

I remember when I didn't know either

until I met ronny

ronny

that's what yall are saying lol

it's not ronny or holly

holly got all the powers of god but was told she isn't god

It's not david or michael

It's ! .    . God that's who god is

you have to do everything right and it can be told by this one book

you get into heaven meet the man upstairs and viola

you get everything you ever wanted pretty much

god is pretty simple

god is everything

every living thing anything you can see touch taste hear or smell

god is even the devil and the devil is god too

you never are not touching god

even if you do go different places not in our world

one little thing though,

god creates

sin the devil darkness all that yadayada is to destroy

god is perfect in every way

and that does mean making mistakes and even saying bad words

the most important part creation not destruction

which god also does if it threatens the greater good

which god is all about

god started out as just a person like you and I

but god was turned into an angel

then basically took on the job of being the leader of the angels

and that's what makes god god

so you are god

YES

now remember that one thing

creation for the greater good

YES

and that's it

mistakes happen but its always getting back to it

and if it's not doing that there is several words for what that is called

mostly not good

always back to creating and creation

leaving things better than you found them

creating creating creating

that's what we do

Just want everyone to know that I love Salem

She's my little girl

Rehearsal for mhmr

So I feel like all the oxygen is being sucked out of the room

That's when I smoke

But if I don't I feel like I'm rotting decomposing spoiling starving and I show signs of it too like hair not growing correctly or teeth rotting

And I can try to eat or take a shower but then I either get fat and spoil or I run up the water bill

It's obvious the injection helps

But I still have to smoke to feel okay every single day

I had no problem smoking marijuana obviously I can't not

And I'm starting to feel the negative effects of smoking cigarettes 

I want to stop

But I don't think I can with what I explained 

And I've been told to call people

And I have I've even gone to the ER because of it to try to get help

When I call someone it helps for about 15 mins then I feel stupid for calling because I'm right back at it

When I go to the ER the most theyve done is give me an IV bag and that helped but I can't do that every time

A part of me thinks of I get back on Cialis but even when I was on it I still went through this just not as often

I don't know what to do

Drinking beer helps but I'm not going to be able to do that much longer when I get on probation 

My cats help the most but again it still happens every single day

I dont like blu because it uses mp

I don't like run it can't heal

I don't like geo

I don't like sch dnc pup cor

Sch too many abilities 

Dnc dancing to get stuff done

Pup too many attachments 

Cor I like the guns but I don't like the gameplay

I don't like smn because it's magical 

I don't like nin

I don't like rng anymore

I don't like that drk can't heal

I'm not really interested in pld

I don't like blm or when

I like rdm and thf but not for jobs I want to really play

That leaves

Bst brd drg sam war mnk

I like mnk in 60 cap ballista and I'm sure it's just as great geared for 119

I like war it's good at soloing

Sam is ok

I like drg but I feel prime stage 5 is required and I don't want to make it also the mythic seems weak when you can put it side by side with shinning one

Brd I like

Bst I like

And those two are not for everyone 

They don't deal numbers like the other dds

They're not the best at soloing because of that since the game has changed to mostly zerging and outlasting isn't much of a thing when fights don't go on longer than 30 mins

But I do like bst and brd

Right now, the most

I want to mlvl 50 both of them

And get the best gear possible

That's three prime weapons 

I don't feel prime is required 

Id probably do instrument then axe then dagger or axe then instrument then dagger

But as always having brd and old helps gear bst much quicker than anything you could get or have for bst

So I can hold off on augmenting carn

Work on getting gear prefected while getting both to mlvl 50

Two months

471,390,000 made

330,009,000 spent

141,381,000 difference 

This is two months of ah history 

2025 on Odin most people already have the gear that makes good profit for a bonecrafter

And on top of that the ah sells very slowly

I've found my average gains is spend about 30m on mats and make around 80m-120m that's one 30 min crafting session

This isn't trying to make you to show off my numbers

This is just naturally playing the game and what I actually make

Reese i'm tired of this back and forth flirting we're doing in my head. I'm making you my girl to me right now today and I don't care what anyone else thinks. I work too hard for what I get, that has nothing to do with what I said but it's how I feel and you should know how I feel. Now this honeymoon phase is going to be the best one yet for the two of us that's now one thing since we're together.

Ever since Logan and I split up because her sister got married I see the way you look at me and i've left several comments

Reese it's time we break up. I've tried everything to keep us together but this silent treatment is just pushing me away.

I still want to be friends.

*thinking about starting a horizon account while retail stuff sell*

horizon is like playing with rl friends

retail everyone is like from another county

because it's the best game ever and most expensive game ever

but they found out how to make the best most expensive game ever free but i'll probably never play because of how far I am in retail

You don't have to play without us

We do meet up there though

we can play together but we never have time

so we can have sex

I think I get drugged then yall do me

and I just never see yall

See Salem, Cali is a Meow Whiskers

You are a Meow Whiskers

the Meow Whiskers are the oldest known family in these parts they built everything really nice people

but Salem, Cali is also a Finnikers

they are the roughest toughest in these parts they don't play around they're built

Cali b finnikers meow whiskers walraven

Salem p pants meow whiskers walraven

you're just not in the finnikers bloodline

Cali finnikers whiskers piskers gatdabaGRRRRRRR RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWR HISSSSSSS

see

they don't play Salem

this hot sauce is so hot

eating it is like having a lifechanging religious experience

it's so hot it triggers different voices in your head and you start seeing different colors

you realize you are not talking out loud and you're carrying a full conversation with different voices in your head

you can hear female voices calling you there man just from being able to eat more than one chip

it's so hot you can do the breathing in to cool it off and no one even says "is it hot"

if it got in your eyes you'd definitely go blind

julios habanero 

 if you were getting raped

and you shot and killed your rapist during the act

you would still go to prison for murder since you actually did the murder

gotta love the judicial system

they don't ask any extra information and self defense means nothing

so it would look like just a regular typical murder

it would go to jury if it made it that far

and all they would know is you killed a person lol

I'm bored most of the day

but I'm a content version of bored

guess this is just how it feels to be 31 and not have tons of extra money

I'm bored of ffxi

it's just making gil and waiting the entire time

I can't play any other video games because I don't get the satisfaction

I'm overall pretty tired of looking at girls and stupid stuff on insta and pinterest

I don't like watching tv or movies

I can play music on youtube and that's okay but I don't really enjoy it just something to pass the time

I don't even care for food anymore it took me about 5 hours of thinking to decide something to eat today and I ended up with chips hot sauce and tres leches cake

I think the most fun thing I do is sleeping

I wait days before I drink even having beer in the fridge then I only drink 1 when I have more than a six pack in the fridge

never in my life did I think the most fun things I do would be sleeping and smoking cigarettes

tuna, ribs, chicken breast

an in-depth update

it's been over a year in my own apartment with my girls cali and salem

I don't feel like i've done much as most of my work requires me to smoke marijuana and I have no been able to do that much due to probation and the wait to get back on probation

the biggest change is actually having silence in my living space

i'm still not used to it

it's something special to not hear foul language or bodily noises

I don't care much about my youtube website ffxi or insta

but I try to keep them tidy and have some value

honestly the only thing I care much about at all is food and having enough food to not feel hungry

my work is good it's four nights a week and I do enjoy it. security for a hotel. usually i'm just parked in my work vehicle watching traffic which means most of the night i'm drinking coffee smoking cigs and on my phone usually insta and pinterest

i've switched from smoking weed to smoking cigarettes and i'm surprised how much I actually like it even though it's so much worse for me and I get cancer scares about twice a day

in ffxi I mostly just play for fun I have time to do rigorous testing to find the best but I don't want to spend my time doing that I mostly use it to chat with my ls and I enjoy that but as far as actually playing I really don't much

I don't play any other games besides ffxi

my youtube is basically just a place to back up videos and store videos for myself

I'm worried about going to prison but everyone tells me to think positive and not go there

I sleep A LOT more and it feels so good

I still drink beer from time to time but i've changed what I drink mostly drinking highlife and bud ice now

instead of budlight and landshark

I also still drink old no 7 my favorite thing to drink

I still cook ribs and I'm planning on getting a brisket

money is okay but sometimes I spend too much and have a hard time right before I get paid but i'm just getting used to living on my own

I miss my grandma more than anything having someone to talk to and having someone to help with buying food

my mom helps but she has it about as bad as I do on the money part

I don't see it getting better any time soon but I do feel confident I can make it like this

sorry if I jump around and it's hard to read this post i'm on my couch under the covers just venting

my cats take care of me as much as I take care of them cali always tells me when they need more food

and salem is so easy to love she lets me pick her up cuddle her love her the way I want to she's so funny

I eat a lot of hotdogs really it's the only thing I can afford 1.30$ for 8 hotdogs and that can last an entire day I know that isn't good for me either but it's where I am at

I'm glad I got away glad to live on my own glad to get to sleep finally no more jobs and forever changes

all I want to do is play beastmaster

I don't want to do anything in game though ep mlvls i'm just going to pay for I don't want to go the I want to play so bad but can only get a pt once a week route to mlvl 50 sounds like torture

everything is done besides smoking marijuana and having fun

all the hard things to do i've finished

not much more for me to talk about

I could go more indepth about everything

no point

Cali

Then vs now

I see no reason to make 7m a day

Then I see no reason to make 70m a day

Then I see no reason to make gil at all

Then I see no reason to play at all

Then I try to play for fun

Then I don't want to solo

So I sit and stare and nothing ever happens or it's stuff I don't want to do

Then I go fishing where I can make 7m a day

24 years ago

og xbox

before it was released hearing it would retail for 550$

getting it first out of all my friends playing the games that came with the xbox

2001 gta all day

2002/3 playing midtown madness 3 on xbl being the first of all my friends to get xbl

2004/5 in halo 2 playing with my modder friends

19 years ago

broke my og from softmodding and deleting hard drive

grandma had already ordered me a 360 because I played og so much

one of the first halo 2 players with a 360 owning everyone unless it was against modders because higher specs. feeling rich

2006 ffxi beta comes out play on 360 nonstop

get my first alt char gifted to me, switch to pc

start playing with the onion

2007-2025 ffxi only

switch from 360 to pc

2014 start playing only on 360 for better video quality in my youtube videos

2016 360 and ps2 get removed

skip out on xbox one

2019 series x released

2020 buy a series x 

I didn't pay much attention until I realized how good it really was

still have my series x from 2020 and use it nearly every day

I don't play games anymore

I watch videos and movies I have installed via ftp and I watch pluto tv

still playing ffxi on pc but I have so much done I don't actually do anything in game I just log in and stand

I could craft but I don't want to go broke

I have nothing left to do

I can't play any other games because they don't give the accomplishment feeling ffxi gives me

and I can't play ffxi because i've played it too much

i'd rather log in and stare at screen not moving on log in and watch pluto on my xbox

it's been a good 24 years but it's basically over and done now

now i'm dealing with a felony

and i can't wait to take a 3 year break

and maybe actually want to play ffxi again

Been so worried 

Drew a warm bath

Smoked a cig

Made a pot of coffee 

Turned on Michael Branch on Pandora 

Got out on my couch with the ac blasting

I've got food in my fridge 

And 20$ to make it 6 days until I get paid

But I got everything I need and the girls have two full bags of food

This whole charge thing

There's three options 

Reinstate probation 

Dismissal 

Or

2 years prison

And I'm pretty sure it's going to be prison

The biggest issue is losing the apartment and not getting to see my girls(Cali and Salem )

But I've come to grips with that and I'm okay with it

I think prison is usually a good thing and it would be nice to say I went and got it done

Obviously dismissal due to lack of evidence is the best

Or probation since I'm 100% off of marijuana 

But I'm not counting on either of those 

Posting this laying on my couch under the ac

Drinking coffee

I have KFC and ribs in my refrigerator 

I have hot Cheetos and noodles to snack on

Plus a lot of other stuff like rice and fish

It's so overwhelming worrying if I'm going to go to prison

My 30s have been absolute complete shit lol

It's like every step is

Oh I didn't know that okay I'll deal with it even though it's the most difficult thing I've ever had to do

So with all that in mind I'm dropping the I did it for self defense to get away that I've been with the entire time and changing it to

I did it to just be mean

I wanted to draw blood and watch the old man drop for enjoyment 

I didn't but it does make me feel better than being completely ignored and stepped on

  why are we going backwards

well we've built up hard layers on the exit side of a hard candy with a soft center

it's more of a mega construction job

we have to reverse all the hard layers to get to the soft center

but not break in the other side of the hard layers

it's like a super big foundation grass then a ceiling and no one has got to the grass in like 28 years

we're like maybe 2-5 hard layers to go before we get to the soft center or grass

then we save up money and start shooting porn like a real man

taking pictures of girls giving us head calling it a selfie

or getting head while we're getting taco bell

it's not like hell or having a starving kid in the car and repeatedly going through the taco bell drive thru to mega starve the kid

that's the other side

I want to get head on the way to the movies or get head while i'm in the shower

or get head at work

or get head while i'm asleep and wake up to that

I want to take funny pictures with girls butts with googly eyes

I WANT TO BE THAT COOL
DONT STOP ME FROM BEING THAT COOL DAMNIT

they usually do it for everyone

omg he destroyed the entire bible

they're not shy

he's not shy

what is it then

he wasn't addictive

all he needs is a port

well he's probably going to do it his way which is saving money for years

but besides that

he was a nigga and they just burnt it off

he'll probably get out of trouble get money do drugs grow it out again

then just be attractive and addictive

well something is getting the girls head stuck between the guys legs

money clothes being well endowed lies Armageddon SOMETHING 

how does dakotah not feel spoiled
because he only wanted a girlfriend to give him head day #1 first day he ever wanted anything head kissing cuddling all of it

they gave him money but prostitution is illegal because you won't want your family doing it so you don't buy they don't expect to be treated like that, the girls you love

all the nice toys and consoles and whatever

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WORK IT IS TO NOT GET HEAD OR HAVE SOMEONE TO KISS OR HOLD

dakotah paid for all that shii

AINT NO WAY YOU CAN TELL ME DAKOTAH DIDN"T PAY HIM DAMN SELF FOR ALL DAT

the first week of unlimited free head he'll start feeling spoiled fo real fo real

but he wants to keep that going AS LONG AS POSSIBLE

he's a bobber slinky and floppy

slinky gets broke but if you've very careful you can fix them

they usually get stuck and you have to try hard to get them unstuck

they move on their own

they grow like 32x bigger

bobbers are exciting they're fun they let you know it's happening

floppy are naturally very confusing for most people usually the master has to show the user how it's done but they're usually the most fun

it's not supposed to be an apple peeler jalapeno corer stack of quarters

that's all mark of shames from a totem pole

that no one supports or is under

that's why we are trying so hard to get out of that mess

apple peeler causes complete chaos and destruction

jalapeno core just takes out the seeds

stack of quarters never gets bigger

****12 hours later****

the latest layer we have removed

is that we were the old GOD and the people are fighting for their new god

the new god was given the old GOD's head and did make him into a sort of god

but we are asking to give the old GOD his head back so we can actually get all the spoils and the show on the road

we're not trying to live here a trillion years

we really just want our head until we get enough and can be a normal government police emt type worker

then we want to work and play a few more years and die

we're not trying to make this take thousands hundreds of thousands millions billions trillions of years

and if we can keep fighting GOD for the human who got turned into a god by getting GODs head

we really are going to drag this out for trillions of years

that's why we are doing it to get your stuff

that's the welfare stuff

there's still many other relics and artifacts and spoils that can't be given without doing it correctly

you act like if you had 1$ and got head you'd have 100$

you would

think hp mp tp

that's how we gain tp to do special moves

they've been mean to dakotah for so long and since he got his felony for fighting they've got even more mean

and he thinks that's just how everyone is

but it's not

would be great to see some nice people besides his japanese friends and not on his online game

dakotah got (excuse my language I don't know what else to call it, it is called this) cock sucked and cucked for so long and did so many surgeries to regrow his penis

and they always go straight for the penis

he really is immune to that punishment and that's the only one they use really

I love this one

it's a little sick but good too

michael's mom tells him he's the only one that didn't get it(but doesn't add anything extra)

then says michael needs to buy the girl that come over new underwear (for who knows why but obviously they get dirty)

but this is where michael and I are best friends more than austyn and I because michael doesn't do that because of another reason typical michael

michael's dad won't let michael's mom talk to me

but his dad talks to me the same way

hyper sexual for good

okay this is where it gets a little different

michael is now john's grandson but john wanted a granddaughter but john can't take care of girls without doing what he did to me torture

so now we're at holly is a penis and she always gets it taken out of her to raise the babies but that's her job being mom because otherwise she's just a sacrifice from the harsh reality of the animal world that lasted so much longer than the 1950s millions of years

michael's mom got dakotah's job which is making a shit pot ton of money just having fun

and they wonder why they don't just play but they just don't and all they do is have fun and have money

since she got my job that makes her my daughter to play with

in the barbie world

and that makes michael's dad my best friend

and that makes michael my grandson

and john and I fight for them but john forgets them

this story also gets the girl on my insta involved her name is ashley hersheys

she's a lake girl with a big back yard mule seadoo and boat

she's the actual perfect girl

but she thought when she needed to take advantage of mom it was her mom not other moms

which is what's happening to my mom and michael's mom

but that's just the harsh reality of the animal world we live in

but that's their save

my mom does awful

michael's mom does great because she's unseen

but remeber michae's mom is my daughter to have fun with

and michael actually does like that

because his dad was bad to his mom but they do love each other but he is a dog and she is a cat

but now they're both lizards

What's it called when you're in a car or doing something with someone

And you upset they didn't do what the plans were

But they get mad to keep you quiet

So their story is

They are blind kids 

Blind as in they just don't get it not seeing

In fully grown working adult bodies

They see you masturbating 

And they want to play with your penis as a toy like a scooter or yoyo

They play with it on certain days usually when it's a bad time

That's why you have to go in surgery as a surgeon which who onows if they'll want to do that

But they're 100% cooked on playing with the penis and making yours a tiny itty bitty little thing

Talking less than an inch long sometimes it shrinks up and shrivels inside the pelvis

But that's their favorite toy to play with

This all dates back to that one birthday 

I got a bike

Misty tried to ride it

Everyone said I pushed her

Then rampant

Everyone started lying

Or they were just wrong

This is followed by Willie spray painting and I getting in trouble

And it just gets worse

Everyone starts having my kids with zero respect of me losing my virginity 

Because I was too young

But we were all the same age

Still are

From when God died and Jesus was born

So every time this one happens

Someone is trying to help me by usually get me a girlfriend 

I already know how to get a gf

So the only thing I need help with is more food

And I got that myself easy 

Kristi's story is she was supposed to get me the limo with the lake girl to make out with in

She's my real mom but she was too young

So holly got me

But she gets other people to speak in her voice to my mom like my mom is on ice like the guy on let the bodies hit the floor

Then Kristi gets on the phone to make it better

But she only makes my mom more pissed than ever if she sees me on the same day

I have zero respect for Kristi and I never will

God made his perfect girl

Then he gave her more money and the ability to make her own perfect male

Which was supposed to be the first born son of hers he killed and brought back later

But she started a war and they drafted god

Where he had to get mutilated and molested by his family that was blind in heaven where he put them

But he woke his family up and now he watches his perfect girl with her perfect male that she brought back on her own

But they're best friends and laugh about it today

She thought of all the gifts from god as shit besides the male she made

Because God was poop powdered 

Male was from another heaven

Got like 5 heavens going on at once

He designed her to be 17 forever and have infinite virginities where she regrows her hymen during sex

To fuel the bloodlust without war

A forever virgin

Which because his perfect girl was one

She turned him into one

Works entirely different 

Then we start getting into the father the heavenly father and dad

Then we're at Jesus Christ 

Which of course takes us back to Egypt 

Redacting yourself

Redakt

Re Dakotah to give the state of Dakotah back

There's also a state of god

So then people don't want their guns and Nintendo switch anymore

The perfect girl can't be trusted

But God is good

Because he took the state of god Almighty and the devil almighty but claimed God and swore to do good

Literally 

So now God is back in his cat world

Where all living things are cats

Because in fact girls and god don't get along

They always go for Jesus

Who was a mutilated version of God's penis in the basic Romeo and Juliet story

Guys upbeat is a robot to me but not to you

That's all I said

.okay..

Domo arigato mr.roboto

Ddoomoo arriggattoo mr.roboto

Domo

Robot dance

I am robot

Domo

See

He proves it every time

I believe I can fly I believe I can touch the sky I dream about it every night and day spread my wings and fly awwwaahhaaahyaaaaa

I get knocked down but I get up again you ain't ever gonna 

We're making up

The three of us talking

On what I call chime

He doesn't like how long I had no friends

And how happy I was just being with my cat

He didn't know he was dropping me on my head and making me get rid of my job to work his jobs

He mastered Japanese at one point

But I get the blessings of knowing the latest Japanese 

All my friends stay to distant 

And there's no point in them getting close

Because what they are going through

He didn't have enough money to keep me

My mom doesn't even have enough money to keep me

How did I get so much money I worked at my job

Drug dealing

Yes and several her things YouTube website selling consoles

Doing small jobs when I had time

Never wanted to sell drugs started in college and it was worth it

Now I don't sell drugs anymore

Not to get too deep into it 

I only sold to one person at a time they had to be repeat buyers and it was always people I bought drugs from for myself

We can continue 

I like writing the good so I'll remember this not fighting 

Right now we're assessing the situation 

My mom didn't believe him he had been to the dentist to get his last tooth pulled

But there's something weird about the tooth being what keeps giving him life

Now she does believe him

And I do too

Please don't copy me because I feel it's not safe unless you know what you are doing with excellence 

An ounce of marijuana was 170$

A hit of LSD 10$ could sell for 15 get at 5$

A hit of nbome 5$ could sell for 10 get at 66 cents

It was not uncommon to trade 10 hits of LSD and spend 70$ on an ounce and that was about twice a month

20$ is a lot of money 100$ is a whole lot of money

When you start turning 6$ into 60$

And 50$ into 100$ buying 170$ for 70$

And losing nothing

You get rich

I could trade 10 hits of nbome for 100$ off a 170$ ounce and only pay 70$

You may not realize what's happening

But I'm paying 80$ for something that's 170$

And I can do this as often as I want 

So then I start giving better stuff

And they want more and more and more and their friends want more and more and more

And all I'm doing is trading what I have for what he has and paying Penny's

Do that for a few years and anyone could have more money than they know what to do with

I just wanted to let it be known

Old age, mental illness 

Whatever the both of us have that doesn't let us be friends anymore

He did teach me a lot

And he was a good friend and grandpa 

I know people see me defending myself but I do have a mental illness and it's a fairly serious one

I don't think he's sitting on the couch talking to me with a walkie talkie in my head

But I 100% feel like it in the moment until I squash it

He's good and he has a good side too

He stays busy and things upset him when they don't work out as planned

Who doesn't that upset

He let me have more fun than most can stand and that's because he is cool

Now I'm sorry what I say can be taken and used against the both of us

I don't have an in house councilor I can speak to and posting on my websites is how I vent

Thank you

-dakotah, upbeat

"you're not supposed to get to know each other

you're supposed to just have sex

we didn't know"

the way I do it is simple

get a running vehicle

have a home

have a job

have at least 700$ in drugs

have at least 600$ to spend with some extra money

have everything paid for internet cell phone gas food

you can meet anywhere but it's usually a friend of a friend so anywhere you would be with your friend

basically it is prostitution you're paying for food drugs and a safe place for them to sleep

this usually lasts about a week before you have sex

then you can usually keep it up two more weeks, total a month

then it's done

until you can save up the drugs and spending money again pay everything off again and usually need to have the running vehicle maintenance

all together the relationship lasts a month then it takes 6-8 months to save up to do it again

it's very reasonable to me

it's like a twice a year vacation and just saving up for the vacation between them

some vacations better than others

but they all end in less than a month because the girl finds someone with more money

you're not going to stay with any of them too many people have enough money

it's like you are the booster middle man that gets them into their relationship where they marry and have kids

want to get in the honeymoon stage of the relationship in about 5 days

telling each other how much you love each other

then want to get in the breaking up stage at about day 12 after first meeting

stay in the break up stage have do we want to get back together of course we don't want to get back together sex on about the 15th day

talk about 2 more days so day 17

then divorce stage from day 18+

no real feelings

it's the minimum you can put in to get the good stuff

Two different life forms

Fighting for nothing

No one knows anything 

It's what they think

This isn't we tv law and order 

We're all open years and we're all finally accepting were wrong without doubt or questions 

Guys we gotta be careful

We can make what we think seem true

Yup

It's been about the only pet peeve of mine my entire life

Thank God it's the end of that

That only started when y'all got to take me off of weed and have my sex when I went to jail

It's only been two years of y'all doing that

Kristi you have to stop giving them (all the random) their (specifically Dakotah walraven) money

We all get you are the crazy one and I'm not asking you for money

It's what the voices said

Don't try to help me

It's always been the same

What does that mean

Okay lol it ain't difficult you're giving everyone but us something and we're looking crazy fighting for our spot but we're getting it

So guess what

We get to fight for literally our entire life to just keep what we have

And they all get to be your kids

That we have to deal with

feels like being sick and starving from multiple things

first breast milk then food then sexual activity with girls

then you don't get that medicine
so that's already three things stacked you miss out on

then you get in trouble for doing something wrong

then you have to do your punishment on top of being sick for not getting the first three things

then you get health issues and have to get injections or pills

and that isn't enough

so then you have to use drugs

then you get punished for using drugs even though you are doing good starving from no breast milk food or sexual activity

it feels like you just need to get your drug habit under control

you just need to get off the pills and injections

you just need to get the people that fight with you and get you in trouble out of the picture

then you can get your food

then you can get your sexual activity

then you can get your breast milk

but then they hit you with a punishment that lasts 10 years

and you get everything taken care of besides sexual activity and breastmilk

but then they drag it out so long you honestly 100% feel like you don't want those two things

but you know you need them to be better

to finally undo the knot and get in with your life

but the punishment just keeps turning the shoe lace back into the most heinous knot god and the devil can imagine

so then you untie the knot and try to get your girl and finally get your starvation taken care of

and that's just when you get bad news

something went wrong and you're going to suffer again

so then you take that with the best attitude you can

get it taken care of

and now you're back at everything is taken care of besides having a girl

your space gets dirty you clean it

you eat multiple times a day

you don't do anything wrong

then boom bad news again

health concerns you're ruined in some way a bad tooth cancer losing an ear getting something amputated a cold a flu  anything

so then you keep doing all your daily chores

then more bad new more bad new more bad new more bad news

always starving from not enough girl sexual experiences 

so then you finally get EVERYTHING besides girls done

now you need to make like 4,000$ extra to save up drugs

THEN YOU CAN FINALLY FIND A GIRL TO GET ALL YOUR SEX OUT

because there's no way using male sex toys is good for male health

it makes it all better

but we still crave a girl to get it done the right way

and not need girls anymore like all the cool people in high school and college

and that's literally just to not be sick anymore

 

See where I come from

No one defends their self

They get misused until they get shot point-blank out of pity

That's when dads are teaching their boys to fight and when you start getting older brothers to defend you

That 911 tells you to just walk away

Which just lets it keep happening over and over and over getting worse because they know they can get away with it

911 and police basically tell you to defend yourself by walking away

But that just makes it worse

All the dads say to fight back that's what they are teaching

Can you imagine if 911 told you to fight for your self defense 

So you don't end up a gunshot victim 

But yes or no

Does everyone agree

He gets out of bounds

Where he can come up with stories for infinity until he gets what he wants 

And it's always sick

Then he's back here and he's there too

And he still does the same bs

How old would that get if it was happening in your house from someone everyone just expects you to bow down and work for

Which of course made me feel like

Okay dude we know you're where you can think all day and pick the worst

And we know you're here causing hell

We're still not at where we can think longer than all day

And we want good not bad

Can you please speed up where you are slow and slow down where you are fast

We're trying our best to get in that heaven while living with you and leaving you alone and working for and with you

Which always made him 100% entirely completely confused

Then I and my grandma and mom and sister

Get absolutely bonkers pissed

He can't understand 

Like it's just something he thought of in his space that works for him and makes us look crazy

Which of course is where we

A: call 911, get told they can't help

Feel let down that he gets to continue 

Try to explain taking advantage of the situation is rape get told it's not

Feel even more let down

B: just walk away like they all tell you to do

He instantly gets in to deep thought about what's wrong with us

Then goes to the negative thinking in infinity land

And we get several new jobs

It was like his giving out jobs was based on him pissing us off us being the bigger man and walking away

Then boom like 3 things taken away and 6 new jobs

Which really is what did it

Couldn't get 10 jobs done

Without him pissing us off to to the point of calling 911 or being the bigger man and walking away

And the jobs and stuff taken away got increasing worse

To the point it felt like he was taking our life or ruining it so bad suicide was easily an option

Since wherever you go it couldn't be worse

When I say we or us I mean myself my mom my grandma and my sister

Then you need to have sex with a girl to unload a load the correct way and finish to get peace of mind

and you know exactly how to do it like a train government super soldier hacker

and he doesn't need sex at all he gets sex from working us and telling us what we can and can't do and drinking beer

so this is another thing that completely dumbfounds him he goes completely stupid clueless

and acts like there's something wrong with us which triggers his deep thought on what needs to change

and it's never just give sex or help get sex

it's always taking things away and giving more work\

which sets off the call 911 and be let down or be the bigger man & walk away

which stacks his deep thought and enhances his bad ideas

then you tell people and they listen and support you but they can't help either

It's pretty cool having zero faith in 911 for your problem

Youve called so many times

And they've never helped once

It's like calling a maintenance man to change a lightbulb

You get them over 6 times

And they tell you if you change the lightbulb you go to jail

But you don't go to jail and it does get changed and better lol

911 kinda sucks at pain and suffering they can't directly see

If it's mental it's just to get help with classes and injections 

They never actually help ever 

With brain rape or brain rot or closing the show or any of that stuff 

They mever

Something bad abrupt or startling happens

Then he starts speaking in a demonic Latin language 

It's not like something falls makes a crash then it just attacks him

He is the one that keeps chaining together curses in English but based on a demonic language 

Then the program protects itself

Then it kills or contains the one speaking

Today it was splitting yhe house living room in three moveable sections

A couch section

A middle or floor section

And a hallway or door section

The couch section would then get grouped up with other couch sections in groups of 100

Each couch section would hold 100 bodies

The door section had infinite treadmill of more boxes of the section

He kept respawning in the couch section looking like an imp

And the door section would shoot him at any chance given and it was usually when he would start speaking that language again

We got 2 sections of 100 that's 2,000 bodies

Then 2 more so 202 total

About 2,200 of his bodies

And that machine just keeps rolling

He comes in he has a drink and he leaves

Idk where he's at because we have that party every night

Girls getting topless 

I think that's when he dies

And he has tried to stay for the party

But it boils down to him not doing cocaine or coke

I'm 31 now

And I don't want a gf

But when I'm 41 or 51 will I want one

I think I'll want a kid then

But I don't want a kid now

And I don't think I'll want a gf then

So then it's finding ways to have fun without a gf or kid

To have a better life

Which should be pretty damn easy

Than if you had a gf or kid

Then it all evens out

To being a better life over all 

It all puts me at

I hope prime weapons stay the top tier weapon for like 15 years

And I hope nothing changes in the game

And I expect getting mlvl 50 to take around 10 years

And I find all of that great

What does it feel like to regularly do events like dynad sortie odyssey 

How do people get in groups that do those things

I know it's not having friends or playing more than others

And that takes me to where I don't understand 

You need a ls that does event days

How do you even get in one of those if no one talks

Easy small talk is one thing but getting in a good ls or static is an entirely different thing

I haven't had a group since before delve

And that was a decade ago

I'm tired of not having a group to carry me a little so I can learn

I don't want to have to research for months

To learn the events and know everything before I go in

I want to play the game

If I get carried the first few runs perfect then I actually know what's happening

The best I get now is completely carried then dropped

Because no one talks and all it is is saying the fight but doing 8 fights in 30 mins

To the point you have no idea what you're supposed to do and not supposed to do for the enemies

Unless you're told so spoonfed

I don't want that

Well in reality 

The only thing I'm not able to do is smoke weed

And I can grow because of that getting past my regular daily problems

But not using my normal solution 

They say they can never take away cigarettes 

And I first I was very confused 

But now I'm forced to be happy and greatful

I can get past all the problems with cigarettes 

And they said to my face they can't take away cigarettes 

Obviously that made me question why they can't take that away but they can take this away

And clearly the only explanation a skitzo can find is one is giving you life and one is killing you

And they just want the state and nation to die so they don't have to work and we all go to heaven eating pancakes at the Denny's lol

As far as getting my freedom back

I'm still completely free I just don't get to smoke weed lol

It's an opportunity to grow stronger by not always going to the weed when things get difficult 

Not drinking beer is as easy as:

I don't drink medicinally I do it to pass down time to have a little fun during the mundane times of the day

It's not hard to stop

Another big thing is all this slows you down on having a kid

I don't want kids

I don't care about having sex

I really don't want an 18+ year responsibility 

Where I have to stay ahead of the kid for my safety

While helping and guiding the kid like I would expect my parents what I expected 

Not what I got

It just does not sound fun or correct or something good to do at all

In my 10 years of drinking

I've never drank with other people at a bar or party

Maybe drinking with 1 other person at their apartment 

But never at a party or bar

I always drink alone at those places 

I think you still have to be a kid in the womb to get that to work

The number one question has been

Does the court take in to consideration what all was happening before the incident 

Or do they just care about this is the charge did you do it yes guilty no then we look

Because it would be an easy dismissal if looked and we've backed up all the data so that won't be corrupted 

It's never going to change

But if they don't look at that

Like him being drunk him starting the lecture

Him impeding work to work for him

And all the other things that were going on

https://youtu.be/GuG7G9uTKog?si=9hVjWVLEQoSfUi8I

 I want to change the layout of the website

so I can have a youtube video that plays as a header

but I want to keep my header I use now

one thing about it I know i'm going to make the difference

I know I did so much with excellence

i'll never be stopped

before 18

18-21

21-30

I know I did so perfect I'll always make an impact

what I did at 31

how it's going

no matter what I know I made a difference

and I know I did good

I know most of the big achievements i've made I was the first to make them

I fully understand me dying is not like other dying

I fight

I fight SO FUCKING HARD

and I know I am perfect

and I know it's part of the game

when you get a lot done

it's less about rushing to get more done

and about letting the new come to you

I have 12 masters all relics all empy 3 mythic 6 ambu 1 escu

mlvl 29 22 12 10

I'm not in any rush to 119 ag more relics or mythic

I'm not in any rush to do anything at all period

I let it come to me

and I expect to play for fun

I could try harder to make gil

but I don't want to try

I want to have fun

putting an end to the grind in a game that's all about grinding

and. just. having. fun

fun is the entire reason

if I don't feel like logging in

if I don't log in for days

it's only to make it fun when I do log in

there's nothing at the top

there's nothing when you are done

when you have everything when you can get everything on the updates

if it's a machine you got put in to make yourself a better human, prison

if it's something to escape a bad real life

if it's an addiction

it's a game and it's supposed to be fun

that's how I play it

Cleaning apartment 

Swept took trash out

Cleaned refrigerator and freezer 

Put everything up

Cleaned restroom 

I've got mail to throw away dishes to do and need to mop clean on top the refrigerator 

5:30am

I want to buy some beer as soon as the store opens

Went to work worked 3 hours

Trying to get insta cleaned

All the text posts I made really added up and it's taken me months to get it all deleted

I want to make my instas nice again

It's too much of a pain to get them all set up when I have to scroll for 10 mins in my archive to get past the text posts

And I just had to upload them to both accounts 

Slowly uploading content to YouTube

Been watching a lot of MTV spanking new on Pluto with my Xbox

this month was "free"

because I buy the 30$ or 33$ if you include the extra fees for 3,000 crysta

you don't spend all 3,000 to get 1 char and all wardrobe

so in just a few months you get a "free month"

after two years of dealing with this

I still have found no other options

that would let me to get away

all your normal go to people for I have a problem with someone in my house can you help

were exhausted

I've got court for several months I could be put back on probation I could be let go I could go to prison I could get on parole

no one knows

but everyone agrees I did the right thing

even with all the delays from legal issues

yeah I miss my old house

I miss my rooms

I miss the neighborhood

but it's better to get out any way possible and get to a safer place

I want to do a update to the website soon

no big changes

cleaning everything up to get the feels I want for myself and people visiting

I remember a time before I started playing brd much

when I listened to a song good to sea by pinback

I was just working on my code and I was camping vrtra

I want to take it back to this time 

so mostly i'll be trimming fat and making things fit together better

no new content but I could add a song or something a youtube video or something

quick update on my for everything

mostly just sleeping eating and going to work

I let upbeat deactivate this month but I have upir and dbw active

on upir i'm selling lik and gugs

on dbw i'm lvling up fishing dbw already has both ebisu items and has gone from lvl 50 to lvl 65 fishing in the past week

if I can get all 3 fishing I can pull around 15m in fish up per day if I fish all day

the slowest part is even though I can catch 600 fish a day they don't sell that much so it's going to be like fishing once or twice in the month and slowly selling the fish I caught on those two days

this is all for bonecraft to use all the ebisu fish gil I receive to pay for bonecraft mats

to eventually focus primarily on crafting Pangu the bst su5 axe

I have all the bc buffs gear everything

so I want to start pulling out the pangu

with this gil making strategy i'm looking at 1,7000,000,000 per month in gil

of course the fish won't sell that fast not enough people building the rod

but I will always be selling and gil should print itself

 cross examination of race change options

first what each race is known for:

taru m.acc and int also highest chr

hume is most well rounded

galka is hp and vit

mithra is dex and agi

elvaan is str and mnd

now for my jobs I play the most pld bst brd drk drg rdm rng with a little of smn thf nin

I find elvaan to be the best race

because overall I want the str and attack

acc is a little easier to get up and know how much you have or need with checkparam

galka would be the choice if I was still doing pvp on asura but that has ended

already am on mithra I like it but I don't like knowing I could be stronger or have more defense

hume and taru would be great for my max macc charm build but charm gets used so seldom and my mithra can already charm anything locus or apex so I don't need hume or taru

elvaan galka mithra hume and taru

really like the idea of being able to get a little more str atk def hp mnd

and I don't mind losing the eva agi and dex

 May for race change

Can't wait for upbeat to be elvaan again

Cold spaghetti reminds me of my wedding day which I am still planning 

Cold spaghetti is my favorite 

Hot burgers is good too

Recently got my 10k points for relic Aug

Decided to do what I had planned

And I r15'd guttler

I've played around with it a little

Haven't had much of a chance

I'm happy with it

Been wanting to r15 guttler so I could spam onslaught

Really happy with my tp and ws sets

Happy with my onslaught numbers

Glad I did it

Next is R15 for carnwenhan

I want to make a permanent post about the inspection I felt when I first discovered jobs in ff11

19 years ago when the game was in beta stage for the Xbox 360

Seeing dragoon for the first time in east saruta

Watching beast for the first time in bubru

The feeling of playing an advanced job

Fast forward 19 years until you get to today

Bst is still awesome but the main thing that made it so awesome over the years is almost 100% obsolete charm

Drg is still a decent dd but the wyvern hasn't changed at all

I like the wyvern not changing

But I wish there was more to it

I'm happy with it