Time for a Break

Still loving horizon and ofc writing my code

but the past few days neither have interested me much

part of me wants to resub to retail

but I know i'll search for a cp/jp pt in my ls for hours on hours and just be disappointed

the problem with horizon for me is that all I need to do is make gil and I need to be a ton of gil

which means weeks if not months of fishing then waiting for my fish to sell

and after making about 5m on Lik alone i'm burnt out

coding my program has hit a road block
I got most of the basic stuff included but the things I can't get working right are just not coming together

I feel like i'm having a better time stepping away and just resting

and idk how long it'll be like that but for now i'm taking a break from writing code or playing horizon

I watch a lot of pluto tv/youtube, I read discord daily, and I mostly chill all day

Horizon and code just isn't fitting in right now

I'm sure it will maybe 3 more days of break time maybe a week or 2 weeks but eventually I'll get back to fishing to buy gear on horizon and fixing my code for my latest c# all in one

major progress on the c# application

anyways finally got confirmation my ssi is going up for my next payment and future payments so I can finally pay my rent and bills without asking friends family and places that do financial assistance for help

so happy about that. i've been waiting 6 months for my payments to go up and it has been some of the hardest months of my life waiting.

down to 9 months of supervision

should have enough money to pay off my fees in 3 months

if approved or early release I can get off in 6 months 

I'm so excited about getting to smoke and drink for the first time in years at this point

and I fully believe all my content will be much higher quality when I finally can smoke and drink again

Looking at some time between january 2027 and April 2027

so I really don't have much more time to get everything set up correctly and exactly how I want it for the big day 

I've planned on streaming or at the very least recording myself drinking and smoking for the first time just to watch myself in the future

timeline

September I have saved all the money for my fees

November I have paid off my debt

January all my fees are paid

January-April I get off supervision

Late april I get to smoke and drink for the first time in over 2 years

it'll be exactly 2 years since i've smoked and about 5 years since i've drank

quitting drinking for this was super easy i had zero withdraws no pull and I drank an 18 pack a day daily for several years

quitting smoking was so difficult it took me like 3 years of winging myself off to finally get to the point I didn't need it

I watch yt videos of people saying quitting was the best thing they ever did and every day gets better and it gets better

and i just don't feel that way  it doesn't get worse it doesnt get better I just want to be able to smoke again

but i smoke cigarettes all day long and I drink coffee all day long and i just start dipping copenhagen

I like dipping more than smoking cigs it's a little easier in some ways but also more work in other ways

often I find myself needing a fix and I just don't want to put my hand to my mouth or ash the cig

and I can just put in dip for 15-20 mins and spit a few times as long as i have a place to spit

meh

So really the next goal or way point is getting to october

by october i'll have all my fee money saved and i'll only need to pay $60 for 3 more months

so basically getting this summer over as quickly as possible

just gotta finish summer finish winter and as soon as winter is over and spring starts i'm done

hopefully by then my thf will be geared exactly how I want to besides mandau

maybe the bugs in my program will be fixed by then

idk

i've got 9 months to get everything set up perfectly for a clean transition to making more content

big difference with anything ffxi or content related

is when it's super fun and you enjoy every minute

vs

grinding not really enjoying it just pushing and pushing to get it done asap

I don't want to grind with anything I do

I want it to be fun and enjoy it

as soon as it starts like grinding it really turns me off

9 months until supervision is done

ssi is back to the amount it should be

get all my fees saved up for in 3 months

working to get a good environment to transition to pumping out loads of content

i'll clean up both my websites

i'll start pumping out videos on twitch and youtube

when i'm sober it's hard to have fun doing it

when i'm not sober nothing really feels like a grind even the grindy stuff feels like fun

made major progress on horizon and ready to feel it again

this post is getting super long so i'm going to end it here