the fact that

this is the first year in recorded history

I don't want to do that

and it does feel so good

is a little startling

because I'm not even, not wanting to do it hard, I'm just not trying, and i'm happy, this is adequate

i'm trying like 1/10 on how hard I don't want it

I could kick my not wanting it up exponentially, but shoot, 1/10 is fine

it's startling honestly